This Rediscovered Photo of Paul Newman in the Navy is Just Too Thirsty

We all know that World War II was an extremely horny time for young men looking to cruise…and fight Hitler. But I don’t think we could fully appreciate just how horny things truly were before feasting our eyes on a tiny baby Paul Newman in 1942, courtesy of this magnificent tweet.

Just found Paul Newman’s official Navy portrait. Imagine you’re in the Navy with this guy pic.twitter.com/DhbxOQjOca

— The Raleigh and the Ivy (@PetreRaleigh) January 10, 2023

Now if you were unaware, before he became the legendary actor and pantry item mogul that we know him as today, Paul Newman served for a time in the Navy, where he doubtless made many a young sailor extremely, uncomfortably horny by his mere presence. In the words of one commenter, “my throat would know no peace.”

If my husband went to sea with Paul Newman and didn’t suck him off every night i would file for a divorce https://t.co/RM6EzhOvoc

— dj fuck (@eggshellfriend) January 11, 2023

The Billy Budd vibes, as another commenter wrote, are strong.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Newman’s Own should consider putting young Paul Newman’s face on the salad dressing. https://t.co/C2xacv0ySB

— willy 🌜💧 (@willystaley) January 11, 2023

the 40s era homosexual awakenings that happened in that program must have been off the charts https://t.co/0TjTGdy6mh

— BENGAY® (@stereoversion) January 11, 2023

I mean…

we havin gay sex 💯💯 https://t.co/5rVSqC7axx

— dicksquad (@dksqd) January 11, 2023

Twist my arm!

brother I am imagining it https://t.co/N7OnkC5yMP

— the good niko (@NikolasRage) January 11, 2023

Screw the YMCA, get me on a ship, stat:

okay I understand what the Village People were getting at now https://t.co/N4Jx8f8CIw

— Elon Musk is a fascist🐘🐘🐘 (@mumbly_joe) January 11, 2023

Is this the face that launched a thousand horny fanfics? Yes.

I feel like I could write 30 thousand words of my imaginings, believe me https://t.co/T9AQYqwcKg

— ❄️Hotstuff❄️ (@Gender0ffender) January 11, 2023

Never forget.

The Coen Brothers had this on their Pinterest board when they wrote the sailor song in Hail, Caesar! https://t.co/YKxjLLur4p

— G.O. Aweigh (@ughihatetwits) January 11, 2023