Did Shakira Just Come Out, Or Do I Need to Calm Down?

Imagine being me, today, innocently scrolling through Twitter when I hit upon this fantastic tweet:

Someone just said “forcing Shakira’s sexuality orientation is problematic” without a hint of irony.

Bro, she literally changed her socials to the lesbian flag.

— Mia Moore 🏳️‍🌈 (@StopTweetingMia) July 13, 2021

“What!?” I shouted out loud. “International icon SHAKIRA is…GAY??” 

Instantly, I took to Google to figure out what in the hell was going on. Sure enough, there are articles. Several of them. Articles that explain that “Hips Don’t Lie” and “She-Wolf” singer Shakira stealthily changed her social avatars and cover photos to an artistic rendering of the lesbian flag. Don’t believe me? Here ya go. 

Obviously it was off to the races for the Internet’s finest detectives. Some of them even stopped what they were hard at work on (figuring out who that torso belongs to in the Lil Nas X IG story) to pursue this tantalizing queer mystery. 

… shakira do u have something to share with the class pic.twitter.com/tVy353rVlR

— allie ! (@lavenderbuds2) July 12, 2021

The plot just KEEPS thickening!

yall hitting with the “it’s just shakira’s album cover” WELL THAT’S AN INTERESTING CHOICE OF COLORS pic.twitter.com/P1zhRNhhjj

— Luz | KOHANE KOHANE KOHANE KOHANE KOHANE (28/90) (@LuzGayness) July 12, 2021

Some folks are connecting the dots…from 2014!

Help meeee https://t.co/CutZddfhRU pic.twitter.com/CLqdhiLedV

— 𓁺 (@dunwaIl) July 12, 2021

This thing might just go all the way to the TOP!

shakira coming out the same day hayley says she’s in a relationship… pic.twitter.com/IinFLTf60D

— ↯ sarah (biggest ferris fan) (@kissevermore) July 12, 2021

Poor Shakira when she finds out how desperate we are for her to be gay:

shakira right now pic.twitter.com/te2Uys1z3d

— 𓁺 (@dunwaIl) July 12, 2021

Then again, maybe she has even more surprises in store for us…

SHAKIRA IS A FURRY AND A LESBIAN???????

— hya ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎ (@hyavenus) July 13, 2021

There’s just one thing we care about now, and it’s getting to the bottom of this cold case:

IS SHAKIRA A LESBIAN OR NOT??? @shakira

— LOVE or TAKE 💗💜 (@kinohuione) July 13, 2021

As usual, hit us up with leads if you know the answer to this tantalizing lesbian mystery.