Season three of RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars has come to a close, and social media is abuzz about the outcome. Regardless of who you were rooting for, the frenzy can be overwhelming. It’s bigger than the Oscars and the Super Bowl combined.
Usually theDrag Racehype calms down a week or so after a season finale. But with season 10 of Drag Race proper picking up only a short week later, it doesn’t leave a lot of time to recharge our appetites for drag. We can only handle so many sashays and shantays in so little time.
the gays: im done with rpdr and ru
ru: watch season 10 next week
the gays: pic.twitter.com/SaaZ9BlOrB
— Saint Alexander (@ralphalexandr) March 16, 2018
So, take this week to decompress from Mama Ru and the dynasty she’s built. These activities will help keep you distracted.
Write Lizzie McGuire fanfiction
Because you’re still upset Miranda never got a proper send-off.
Launch an Instagram for your favorite pair of shoes
Instagrams for pets have been done too many times to count. And let’s face it, even your shoes have a more exciting life than you do.
Make a quilt from all the Hollister clothes you can’t believe you once wore
God knows you should get some use out of your tacky high school fashion sense.
ME: Hello 911 I just witnessed a robbery
OPERATOR: Sir is this about Shangela again #RPDR
— Adam Moussa (@adamjmoussa) March 16, 2018
Go to a dog show and heckle the Yorkies
They’re adorable, and they know it. If any pageant dog needs to be brought down a peg, it’s them.
Leave fake tickets on the cars parked in front of your house
Why can’t they park in front of their own houses, instead of making you walk two blocks?
Help your BFF plot a Gone Girl on their cheating spouse
Hell hath no fury like a David Fincher fan scorned!
Catfish a politician
Most of them are having secret gay affairs. You might as well do your part to speed up the media scandal.
Meatball has marked herself as “safe” after this RPDR episode.
— Meatball (@fatdragmeatball) March 16, 2018
Convince Pauly Shore he’s your biological father
He deserves the emotional stress after inflicting Bio-Dome on us.
Start digging an underground bunker
If nuclear warfare never breaks out, you can at least use it as a guest room for when your parents come to town.
Draft your will
You’re going to have to do it at some point. And you’ll literally die after another season of Drag Race.