20 Queer Q’s with Dylan Marron

The 20 Queer Qs series seeks to capture LGBTQ+ individuals (and allies) in a moment of authenticity. We get to know the subjects, what makes them who they are, and what they value.

These intimate conversations aim to leave you, the reader, feeling like you just gained a new friend or a new perspective.

Get to know Dylan Marron in this weeks 20 Queer Q’s. He’s a writer, content creator, producer of the “Unboxing” series on Seriously.tv and most recently, the host of the Webby Award-winning podcast, “Conversations With People Who Hate Me.” Learn about his thoughts on religion, attending his first Pride, and what being queer has given him.

Dylan Marron

Age: 29
Preferred Pronouns: He/Him/His
Sexually Identifies As: Queer

1. What do you love about the LGBT community?

So much. It’s a resilient community, it’s a varied community. There’s disagreement and nuance within it, but I also think it’s people who have a strong shared experience and are brought together by our shared youth.

2. Do you think it’s hard to make gay friends?

I would say sometimes, yeah. Because sometimes I make the assumption that  I can go into a queer space and automatically be friends with everyone because we have this shared identity. Then sometimes it feels difficult when you realize, “Oh, that doesn’t automatically make us friends.” Is it hard? I think it can be. I also know my most important relationships are with queer people because there’s a beautiful unspoken thing you can share with each other.

3. How did you feel attending your first Pride?

It felt amazing. It was New York City Pride when the couples would march before marriage was legalized. They would march with banners that would say “married for 30 years!” And I would just cry because to know what they had gone through and to stand by that word marriage when they weren’t even allowed to use that word legally was amazing. Pride is a huge diverse thing but I think I felt intimidated by all the gym bodies and I thought, “maybe that’s not the type of gay I am.”

4. What does pride mean to you?

Expressing yourself in a way that you want to, that you feel comfortable with, and is the truest to who you are and doing that out loud or unapologetically.

5. What’s a song you consider to be an LGBT anthem?

“Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman

6. What advice you have for LGBT youth?

Be yourself, take time to get to know yourself, it doesn’t happen immediately. Be kind to yourself, form community with each other with people you feel safe with and that you feel respected by. There’s a big, big world out there. A lot of it will accept you, some of it won’t. Navigate it safely and I love you.

7. Do you believe in love?

Yeah! I didn’t, and then I met my husband and thought “oh yeah, that’s good!” There’s also so many different kinds of love. We so value romantic love and I do believe in it, but there are other kinds of life-giving love that is restorative and energy-giving.

8. Describe what the LGBT community is to someone who knows nothing about it.

It’s as diverse as most other communities. You have different people, nuance, many who disagree within it. The LGBT community is a microcosm of the big world that we live in.

9. Use 3-5 words to describe your coming out experience.

Lots of tears but incredible.

10. How do you feel about LGBT representation in media?

I think we need so much more of it. I think there’s so many really cool things happening right now. But of course I think we need more queer representation of color. I love movies like Call Me By Your Name and Love, Simon, but I think we need to be having more queer actors play queer roles.

11. Does religion play a role in your life?

In some ways. I think I grew up agnostic just by default. But I find it really incredible to attend religious services and I think discovering that religion can actually be an inclusive thing is amazing. Because at its best, religion brings communities together.

12. What is something you want to change about yourself in the next 6 months?

I would love to be less anxious.

13. Who is the last person to make you smile?

My husband.

14. What’s your earliest memory when you felt you were different?

Realizing I had a crush on MacGyver.

15. Have you found your chosen family?

I think so, but I think chosen family is a constantly growing thing so I look forward to all the people I will meet to be in my chosen family.

16. What is the title of the current chapter of your life?

Successful on the Outside, Worried on the Inside.

17. What is a quality you find sexy?

Curiosity.

18. Have you ever felt uncomfortable holding another guy’s hand in public?

I get really nervous about that, to be honest.

19. Fill in the blank: In 5 years I want to _________.

Have written a book.

20. What value/quality have you gained since being a gay man? What has being a gay man given you?

I think being queer has allowed me to question things and when you question things and you’re curious to question things, empathy follows suit.

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Check out Dylan’s most recent TED Talk, listen to his podcast, Conversations With People Who Hate Me wherever you listen to podcasts, and keep up with Dylan over on Twitter and Instagram.