So that’s why there are no boys in my yard, I mean, the collection of trash cans outside my building. I just wasn’t making the milkshake right.
Kelis is here to set the record straight with a milkshake tutorial hosted on Baileys’ YouTube channel. Before you watch it, I just want to make it clear that this clip is not just some kind of one-off DIY Youtuber cosplay kinda stunt. Please read up on Kelis’ credentials! As Food & Wine notes in their write-up of the milkshake video, the singer-songwriter is a graduate of Le Cordon Bleu, launched a line sauces called Bounty & Full, opened a pop-up restaurant in London a couple years ago, and has even published her own cookbook. They somehow forgot to mention her food-inspired album called Food, released in 2014, but I guess that’s fine because I’m doing it now.
Here’s the milkshake video!
Yeah, I know it’s an ad for Baileys. But is there any ethical milkshake tutorial video consumption under capitalism?
Anyway, let’s move on to what really matters: the “Milkshake”-ish public domain banger Baileys found (or made????) to soundtrack the how-to. I think I’ll call it “Milkshakes.” No, “Shaken Milk.” It’s like half “Milkshake,” half one of the four pieces of music they used to use on America’s Next Top Model. You know, the tense one they’d play in the house sometimes? No, not the one they’d use whenever a girl would empty out another girl’s Red Bulls because she thought that girl had eaten all of her granola bars. Or the one they’d use whenever someone would confront someone because Nicole Richie told her that the latter someone told her that the former someone’s “the bitch” in the house and the latter someone would say, “I never said that,” and then they’d roll back the tape to where the latter someone was like verbatim “former someone’s the bitch.” I mean the one they’d play whenever the girls got their Tyra Mail about makeovers, but it would say something like “You’re going to die” because Bankable Productions forgot to spring for a copy editor, so no one noticed that the word was supposed to be “dye.” That one.
Also, here’s the recipe:
3 oz. Baileys Original Irish Cream Liqueur
8 oz. ginger beer
4 scoops chocolate ice cream
5 pieces candied ginger
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
ginger-infused whipped cream
Don’t forget to buy Flesh Tone on iTunes!!!!