Cardi B’s Parenting Skills Have Us Begging to Be Adopted

After five number one singles and a historic Grammy Award win, we already knew Cardi B could serve. What we were not prepared for was how well she’s serving school lunch. And it turns out Cardi B doing the most as a mother is the wholesome content we needed this week.

On Tuesday, the bisexual rapper posted photos of recent lunches she’d prepared for her daughter, Kulture. “Kulture school lunch be everything,” she wrote. The pictures featured healthy portions of mac and cheese, broccoli, chicken nuggets, fresh fruit, corn on the cob, apple sauce, alongside reliable childhood staples like Froot Loops, Kool-Aid, and Jell-O.

The responses ranged from awe at Cardi B’s mommy skills to vicarious food comas to mourning the memories of lukewarm Lunchables and squashed PB&J sandwiches.

One user asked the obvious question, “If this is school lunch, what does her breakfast and supper look like?” To which, Cardi B responded with even more hearty dishes. For breakfast, it was pancakes with strawberries and cantaloupe and for dinner, roast chicken with a plate of veggies.

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When it comes to feeding her child, Cardi B does not play. Our only question is: how do we get our names onto an adoption form?

Of course, Cardi B is also a working mom. She is currently getting ready to shoot her next music video—and she wants drag queens Violet Chachki and Gottmilk to direct it. During a promotional event for Cardi B’s new vodka-infused whipped cream, she popped the question to the two queens.

“Bitch! I would pay you to direct it,” responded Violet.

Are you kidding me?” said Gottmilk. “The way we’re going to cinch this waist even smaller!”

While the three shared laughs, Cardi B insisted she was serious. “You guys are so creative, so amazing,” she said. “You’re legendary, and I really want you to direct my music video.”

We’ll have to wait to see if that collaboration comes to pass. In the meantime, Cardi B is clearly keeping busy just being a mom.