Widely known among internet-savvy millennials as Davey Wavey, this YouTube personality has certainly turned heads with his frequently shirtless appearances. But he’s proven time and again that he’s not just another pretty gay boy who’s good at social media. Davey has curated a fun and interesting body of work that holds a mirror to the queer community and tells the stories of many of its subcultures.
With his latest project, he goes where we all hoped he would: porn. But it’s not in the way you probably assumed. He recently launched Himeros.tv, a new take on gay porn that provides homoerotic content with a concentration on sex positivity. Doing away with the unrealistic expectations set by most of the gay porn industry, he has talented filmmakers collaborate with sex experts to present an appealing form of sex education, something not so available to most queer people.
I’m not a slut. I’m sexually generous.
— Davey Wavey (@thedaveywavey) October 23, 2017
We recently caught up with Davey Wavey to talk all things sex. He filled us in on his sexual awakening, how he came up with Himeros, and how he hopes it will impact other queer people.
How did you come up with the idea for Himeros?
When I was in college, a boyfriend once told me that when we had sex, it was like being in a porn. “You’re welcome,” I replied.
The thing is, it wasn’t a compliment. But like most gay boys, I learned how to have sex by watching porn. I replicated in the bedroom what I saw on my computer screen.
I’m not alone. As a community, we’re having lots of sex. But how much of that sex is connected or ecstatic? How much of that sex brings us joy?
Let’s be clear about one thing: The goal of porn is to make you ejaculate. And to that end, porn is effective. But if you use porn to learn about pleasure or connection, you’ll come up empty handed, no pun intended. Therein is an opportunity.
I love porn, but what if there was more? What if gay erotica could also demonstrate real sexual ecstasy or encourage your own journey of sexual exploration and discovery? Is it possible to make erotic content that isn’t just hot, but that also enhances your experience of sex and sexuality? Those are the questions that gave birth to Himeros.tv. And I believe the answer is yes, yes, yes.
How involved are you with the production of the videos?
We’ve filmed more than 40 videos for Himeros.tv, and each one is a unique labor of love. I’m not a tantric expert or sex coach, but I do understand where most gay men are at in their relationship with sex. My role is to work with experts much wiser than myself to translate their knowledge into consumable, hot videos.
Doing this takes effort, time, and resources, but it’s a commitment that I’m happy to make. I produce the videos and work with the directors, crew, models and coaches to ensure that the magic happens. Of course, there is a learning curve, and we’ll continue to raise the bar on the content we make.
Each Monday, we upload a new video to Himeros.tv and you never really know what to expect.
What’s the collaboration like with the filmmakers and the sex experts?
On one hand, you have people like myself who are hungry for knowledge about sex. And on the other hand, you have incredibly talented sex coaches and tantric experts who hold a tremendous amount of wisdom. With the filmmakers, we become the conduit between these two disparate parties. Everyone who creates content for Himeros.tv, from the directors to the models to the crew, is united by a common mission of enhancing gay men’s experience of sex and sexuality through exploration, connection and ecstasy.
How else do you differentiate the site from all the gay porn on the internet?
It all comes down to intent. Porn is about getting you off. Himeros.tv is about getting you in
in touch with pleasure and what feels good, in touch with your desires, in touch with real connection and intimacy.
Do you intend users to derive both self-pleasure and education from the site?
We have createdand continue to createa wide variety of content. I suspect that different members will get different things from different videos. Some videos are created to be a guided masturbation. Some videos are instructional guides. Others are examples of sexually ecstatic couples or depictions of kink or fetishes. I think each person will react to the videos differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to interact with the site.
Do you think this might help destigmatize queer sex or sex in general?
Yes. As someone who grew up Catholic, and who attended Catholic high school and college, I understand shame. In creating Himeros.tv, one of my intentions was to portray gay sex in a way that lifts it out of the shadows. The opposite of shame is joy, and it meant infusing our content with joyful ecstasy.
When you go to many porn sites, there are lots of dark colors. You get the impression that you’re doing something wrong. You’re in the shadows. Himeros.tv is something different. It is light. It is bright. And it is certainly joyful.
What role did gay porn play in your own sex education?
Until recently, gay porn was my sex education. Most gay porn follows the same formula, and that was the formula that I replicated in my bedroom. Gay porn taught me that fucking hard was the same as fucking good, and that sex is something you do on a bed, and that sex ended with a cumshot, and so on. These beliefs are limiting and don’t serve your sexual evolution.
Himeros.tv is an invitation to step outside that box, ask questions, explore, and experiment.
Did you have any other source of queer sex education?
Growing up, I always knew that there was more. And a few years back, I connected with a tantric coach about creating a full body orgasm video. It opened my mind, and it opened a door. I walked through the door and now encourage other gay men to do the same. I can’t promise that you’ll like everything. But I can promise that you’ll learn a lot about yourself and a lot about life.
Do you often find other gay men to be in need of such an education?
Gay men are hungry for this knowledge. When we launched Himeros.tv, we didn’t know what to expect. But the response has been beyond our wildest hopes. At times, we’ve had to put up a waiting list for new members, to help keep the site intimate and safe. I think most gay men recognize the sex most of us are having is just scratching the surface. Most of us can see that there is more, and this is an opportunity to dive much deeper.
Is the site intended for queer teens as well? Or do you plan to come up with a version that could reach them?
Because the website is explicit, you must be 18 years of age or older to view the content. However, we’ve been uploading YouTube friendly content on the Himeros.tv YouTube channel that is accessible and free for all people.
Subscribe to Himeros.tv and see more of Davey Wavey’s work at daveywavey.tv.
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