If you thought you could live your full lifetime without hearing the phrases “Travis Barker” and “enema kit” combine, I have some tragic news for you.
Travis Barker, the Blink-182 drummer, has partnered with the hardcore water brand Liquid Death to bring the gays…a fleeting kit? A kit for fleeting? A fleet yeet? I don’t really know what to call it. It’s a bottle of Liquid Death with an enema bulb, and it’s priced at a modest $182.
An adorable nod to Blink’s 1999 album “Enema of the State,” the kit will sell out after a few hundred units or so, according to Liquid Death’s website.
In a tongue-in-cheek video announcing the brand partnership, Barker, who is famously married to Kourtney Kardashian, says he owes his success and his marriage to the “woman of [his] dreams” to Liquid Death enemas.
Which is worrisome because…has no one told this man that you can just use regular water to fleet? Like, from the tap? I mean I know he’s as rich as Croesus but I don’t know, seems like a waste honestly.
Now listen, fleeting is a part of life, and we’re forever grateful to Travis Barker for creating what everyone needed: a luxury enema kit for those who want to fleet in style. But it also bears mentioning that it doesn’t have to cost $182. You could invest in a bidet, a portable bidet, a regular, non-celebrity enema bulb, or go old school and make a water bottle work if you’re really in a pinch. And for those of you who think that enemas aren’t always necessarily a sexual thing…yeah. Sure. Ok.
If you want an in-depth treatise on fleeting before bottoming, I will happily direct you to one of the Internet’s most important videos, queer comedian Samson McCormick’s “Fleet Before You Meet,” a bottom’s guide.