Everyone on the Internet is Wondering Where Mario’s Butt Went

Yesterday, Nintendo fans everywhere were stunned and appalled to hear the first sampling of Chris Pratt’s voicework for the upcoming Super Mario Bros. Movie.

Imagine Chris Pratt saying this line in the Mario Movie pic.twitter.com/wFu4BuEuvv

— 🦇 Toon Brains 🍁 (@Cartoonbrains) October 5, 2022

It was enough that Pratt insult audiences by not using a hilariously cartoonish 1930s Italian accent for the role, but lo, there was more to come.

Fans across the world felt the sharp stabs of betrayal to learn that our beloved Mario—a thicc icon—had gotten whatever the opposite of a BBL is.

Remember what they took from us pic.twitter.com/F7WINr16nk

— Fir @ twitchcon (@SimplyFir) October 4, 2022

That’s correct: Mario, a man whose butt used to take up 3/4s of his entire character design, has been transformed into an assless wonder. And fans are having absolutely none of it.

The Princess Peach, looking for mario’s butt in the #MarioMovie 👑🔍❓❔❗️ pic.twitter.com/kGNIoFApOZ

— ThePatheticGuy (@MakoZy) October 5, 2022

Today feels like an important day to remind you of this academic textbook about Mario’s butt.

Yes, it’s a real book that exists. pic.twitter.com/e9gNAhfKMo

— Laura Kate Dale (@LaurakBuzz) October 4, 2022

Tragically, Mario still has no butt. #SuperMarioBrosMovie pic.twitter.com/JquOen9ElU

— IGN (@IGN) October 6, 2022

Honestly, how did they THINK we’d feel?

It does feel weird seeing Mario with a butt that’s not 3x as large as his entire upper body. pic.twitter.com/MRnWyYHk25

— Tsarius (@Tsarius1) October 5, 2022

BREAKING: After a fan outcry over Mario’s butt cheeks not being big enough in the film’s teaser poster, producer Chris Meledandri provides an explanation.

“If we made his butt appear way bigger, it would’ve looked too delicious for audiences to handle.” pic.twitter.com/ufeFTA91ZM

— Cartoon Crap (@CartoonCrap) October 4, 2022

It’s bad enough that Chris Pratt is playing Mario, but this is simply a bridge too far.

But it’s not too late to fix this monumental error.

I just care deeply about anatomical plausibility in design. This Mario couldn’t even jump 3 feet. Public outrage fixed Sonic, it’s not too late to fix Mario. pic.twitter.com/xp1MqSsNRC

— RJ Palmer 🔜 Lightbox Expo #510 (@arvalis) October 4, 2022

Quick, somebody start a petition.

gonna be very funny when they pull a Sonic and announce they’re delaying the movie so they can reshape Mario’s butt to satisfy The Fans https://t.co/fbcSiAnl3v

— Samit Sarkar (@SamitSarkar) October 6, 2022

This is the world we want to live in.

THIS is the Mario Movie I want…#MarioButt pic.twitter.com/KS19sebN9B

— Rizz Plays Games | AKA GAMING CALLUX (@RizzPlaysGames) October 5, 2022