Bodies Bodies Bodies

Everyone on the Internet is Wondering Where Mario’s Butt Went

· Updated on March 23, 2023

Yesterday, Nintendo fans everywhere were stunned and appalled to hear the first sampling of Chris Pratt’s voicework for the upcoming Super Mario Bros. Movie.

It was enough that Pratt insult audiences by not using a hilariously cartoonish 1930s Italian accent for the role, but lo, there was more to come.

Fans across the world felt the sharp stabs of betrayal to learn that our beloved Mario—a thicc icon—had gotten whatever the opposite of a BBL is.

That’s correct: Mario, a man whose butt used to take up 3/4s of his entire character design, has been transformed into an assless wonder. And fans are having absolutely none of it.

Honestly, how did they THINK we’d feel?

It’s bad enough that Chris Pratt is playing Mario, but this is simply a bridge too far.

But it’s not too late to fix this monumental error.

Quick, somebody start a petition.

This is the world we want to live in.

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