Dream Team

King Princess Teams Up with Birkenstock, Lesbians Lose Their Minds

Beloved lesbian singer and queer icon King Princess has just announced the sapphic collaboration of our dreams. Apropos of basically nothing, the “Cheap Queen” singer is partnering with Birkenstock to create her very own collection, and not since the glory days of Anne Heche and Ellen has there been a gayer pairing. 

That’s not all: Proenza Schouler is involved, because you know these sandals have to be HAUTE COUTURE. 

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A post shared by KP (@kingprincess69)

Because there isn’t a single person on planet Earth who isn’t obsessed with King Princess (fight me) the comments were full of drooling, gagging queers prepared to drop their last dollar on this amazingly homosexual collaboration. Benito Skinner aka BennyDrama7 said it best when he commented “Yes Mommy,” prompting KP’s response of: “may I sell u sandal 😉 ?!” The iconic queer fashion account everylesbianandtheirfashion followed right behind with a triple blue heart message. Even Lady Gaga’s own Haus Laboratories chimed in with “this is awesome.”

Yes it is, Haus Laboratories intern. Yes it is. 

Truly the entire world lives to have King Princess sell us things. “Thanks for having me 💞,” Princess wrote in the caption. “I love to hold shoe.”

That’s how iconic King Princess is: if the phrase “hold shoe” isn’t trending by the end of the day under an entirely different, probably slutty meaning, I’m retiring from public life. 

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