Trump’s New York rally was massively outperformed by man eating cheese balls

Failed one-term president Donald Trump has been hoist by his own petard yet again, after yesterday’s Bronx MAGA rally suffered from sparse attendance. But you know what wasn’t sparsely attended? An earlier event in Union Square consisting of some dude eating a giant tub of cheese balls in an orange balaclava.

As you can see from this clip, those crowds were real, energized, and full of chutzpah. Compare that with the pathetic attendance at the Bronx rally a month later, and the story tells itself.

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The numbers couldn’t have been more pathetic.

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Leave us alone, Nancy!

But as we know, the MAGA people don’t care much for the truth, or for cheese balls. Instead of doing literally anything worthwhile with their time, they showed up for Trump…and then fudged the numbers.

You know who didn’t have to fudge any numbers? Cheeseballman. And yes, that is his official name and title. For the love of God, put some respect on it!

Is this man the true face of America? Is he going to start a new political party, one where all gluten-free people are united under one guiding principle of cheeseball worship? God, I hope so.

This is why we love New York, people. It’s a city that understands the value of a good snack.

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