Here’s What to Expect From the Cher Biopic…

Yesterday, we received news of a forthcoming Cher biopic from none other than the goddess herself, via Twitter: 

Ok Universal is Doing Biopic With My Friends JUDY CRAYMER,GARY GOETZMAN PRODUCING.
THEYY PRODUCED
BOTH MAMMA MIA’S,&
MY DEAR DEAR Friend 4 YRS, & OSCAR WINNER..ERIC ROTH IS GOING 2 WRITE IT👻🎂‼️
FORREST GUMP
A STAR IS BORN
SUSPECT
TO NAME A FEW OF IS FILMS

— Cher (@cher) May 19, 2021

If the all-caps are any indication (and they might not be, because Cher just tweets like that!) Cher herself is quite excited about this star-studded production, especially the part about the “A Star is Born” writer penning the script. However, before we get too excited, let’s establish some ground rules. Cher has lived an incredibly full, rich life, and no 2-hour film will be able to cover it all. Any Cher biopic worth its salt, however, will be sure to prioritize these key moments in the diva’s career.

1. “I Am a Rich Man”

Who could forget Cher’s iconic 1996 interview with Jane Pauley in which she let drop an iconic feminist argument without even meaning to. In the interview, Cher relays the story of her mother emphasizing the importance of finding a rich man to marry. To which Cher simply replied, “I am a rich man.” She went on to describe men as one of life’s fun “extras,” by no means a necessity. “Like dessert!” 

    2. Assless Pants

Cher is known for trailblazing the assless chaps look in several onstage performances from the 80s onward. She’s even famous for having a large butterfly tattoo on her derriere that she loves showing off. We’d love just a scene of her getting inked, or even thinking about getting inked. 

    3. The Early Years

The Cher story doesn’t begin where you think it does. The musical icon started out in the 1960s, where she fell in with recording legend (and horrible murderer!) Phil Spector. We’d love to get a look at some of the young star’s iconic TV appearances and studio recording sessions. 

    4. Her Relationship with Chaz

Cher’s son Chaz was thrust into the spotlight early. As one of the first out-trans folks on a lot peoples’ radars in the 90s and 2000s, Chaz had to deal with a lot of inappropriate media sensationalism, misgendering, and general hate from the public. His relationship with his mother is famously complicated, with Cher at one point allegedly refusing to pay for her son’s gender affirmation treatments. Clearly there’s a lot going on there, but there’s also a lot love between them. It would be interesting to see a director try to sensitively portray their relationship as it changes, develops, and strengthens through the years. 

    5. The Making of “Chastity”

Did you know that Cher’s husband Sonny Bono scripted a film called “Chastity” in 1969. The film starred Cher in the titular role, playing a hippie runaway and free spirit. The film did not do well at the box office, but it’s pretty fascinating today: there’s an out-lesbian madam, frank discussions of sexual abuse, and some pretty insane fashion. 

    6.  The Bob Mackie Moment

Cher is known for her bold, celebratory fashion. She’s also famously patronized queer designers, such as the famous gay costumer Bob Mackie. 

    7. The Vegas Years

Like all the greats, Cher has spent a fair amount of time in Vegas, first with husband and partner Sonny Bono, and later during the “Believe” years. In fact, some of Cher’s most memorable fashion moments came out of her time in Vegas, a place that adores feathered headpieces and bejeweled gowns. 

So will we get what we want? Time will tell.