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We Found Out the Identity of the Hot Mystery Man at the January 6th Hearings

· Updated on March 23, 2023

I am writing to you as someone who has just spent the better part of last night and this morning frantically searching the back alleys of the Internet just to figure out who a certain sexy Kinzinger aide is.

Why, you might ask? Because he’s hot. And I am not the only one disturbed by his beauty.

In fact, the only reason I’ve gone down this path was because I was alerted to the hotness of this (probably, sadly) Republican Adonis by an email I received last night alerting me to his existence. The title read: “Who is he?” Attached was a picture of the blond in question.

Reader, I knew it was up to me to solve this mystery. Who was this hot blond who gave the Jan 6 Clark Kent a run for his money? I had to find out.

Yet after hours of fruitless searching, I have come up short. I’ve searched “Adam Kinzinger aide hot.” I’ve searched “Jan 6 committee aides hot.” I’ve even done some searches where I omit the word “hot” entirely. And yet…nothing.

But fear not, for I have not, and I shall not, give up. I will crack this case and reveal to myself and the three other people who care exactly who this man is.

Don’t worry—INTO is on the case.

UPDATE: Finally, we cracked the code. Thanks to a dedicated reader we now know the identity of this stone-cold hottie. He is Josh Roselman, and it is very possible that he is NOT a Republican. He is a lawyer and investigative counsel for the Jan. 6 House select committee.

This is a huge win for horny people everywhere.

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