The notorious tale of the Senate twink is sweeping the Internet

Something extraordinary happened this weekend in the land of the brave and the home of the free. If you happened to miss it, don’t feel bad: it’s the job of those of us who have absolutely no life whatsoever to fill you in on everything that transpired in Internetland over the past 48 hours, and I am thrilled to report that said 48 hours were a true and total doozy.

Gather round children, and I’ll tell you the tale of the Senate twink.

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Over the weekend, a Democratic aide took the time to use the US Senate hearing room for its true purpose: gay sex. The 24-year-old staffer posted an IG video of himself that quickly started making the rounds.

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Needless to say the gays were gagged, stunned, amazed, and obsessed. We may have found our new King.

Basically it’s everything—the tagged photo, the caption, the fact that the staffer posted his apology on LinkedIn…every detail of this story is simply beautiful.

In no time at all, the memes started coming hot and heavy.

It’s exactly the kind of story Carey Dubek would jump on.

Let’s face it, the Senate now belongs to the gays. Chaos reigns.

Some are calling it unprofessional, but au contraire: if you’re not having sex in the Senate hearing room, truly what are you doing?

But best of all is the way we know it’s killing George Santos.

Can we make this show happen please?