She's Everything, He's Just Ken

Whoever Runs the Entertainment Weekly Twitter is Giving Us a Reason to Stan

The ex-husband of AMC ad sensation Nicole Kidman, who some people may (but probably don’t) know as Tom Cruise, is encouraging people to see movies in theaters. But that’s not the story. What’s more important is we have landed on the only correct description of Tom Cruise.

It comes from a headline by Entertainment Weekly that stopped traffic in a way no simple clickbait ever could. “Tom Cruise, ex-husband of AMC ad sensation Nicole Kidman, is encouraging moviegoers to flock to theaters for a ‘Barbie’ and ‘Oppenheimer’ double feature,” the tweet reads.

When it comes to pushing in-person film screenings, Cruise is late to the game. Since 2021, Kidman has appeared in an AMC ad promoting movie theater attendance following the COVID pandemic. The ad and its grandiose (if slightly creepy) language about the magic of film, frankly, is camp. It has since spawned endless memes, TikToks, and parodies by SNL and drag queen Katya Zamolodchikova, complete with terrible Aussie accents.

Kidman is certainly an AMC ad sensation, but until now, no major outlet has been bold enough to characterize her as such. As we might have expected, this was no accident. The Nicole Kidman stans have long been infiltrating the media. It is their time now.

After years of struggle, what else are frustrated journalism graduates supposed to do but take matters into their own hands? Just let them have this.

We see no lies in describing Tom Cruise solely as Kidman’s ex-husband. But let’s not forget that Nicole Kidman is much more than an AMC ad sensation, winning a Best Actress Oscar for her role as Virginia Woolf in the queer drama The Hours.

So we’ll go see that Barbie and Oppenhiemer double feature in theaters—but not because the ex-husband says so. The AMC ad sensation has already spoken.

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