Sartorial Sapphics

Here’s why you should never worry about looking “straight”

Pride season is fast approaching, and that means that a lot of questions are coming up for baby queers who are looking to come out. Even if you’re already out, it can be hard to know how to navigate queer spaces if you haven’t made any gay friends yet.

But no worries: the Internet is here to save the day, as usual. Lesbian TikToker @poppylaur has guided us through murky waters before, and thankfully she has some advice for newly-out sapphics who are worried about not being able to signal queerness effectively.

The advice? Don’t worry about it. Approach women you’re interested in, and romance may well follow. Yes, it’s as simple as that.


if you’re worried that you look “like a straight girl”, here’s my advice to you! if you have any advice about this, drop it in the comments below and we’ll pool our insight! #wlw #sapphic #girlslikegirls

♬ Yacht Club – MusicBox

Because honestly…what does it mean to look “straight” anyway? In the past, femme-flagging was a way to show other femme lesbians that you were, indeed, a friend of Dorothy—or in this case, a friend of Sappho. But there are plenty of ways to signal queerness without wearing carabiners and Carhartts.

In some cases, looking “straight” just means that you haven’t found your own style yet, and that’s totally fine. These things take time. But that doesn’t mean you should hold back from entering gay spaces until you’ve perfected your look. See what makes you feel good and feel free to experiment, and remember: sapphics are not a monolith!

And whether you prefer dressing up or dressing down, it’s never too late to learn how to dress for the female gaze:


to sum it up, dressing for the female gaze really means dressing from a place of agency and intuition — aka wearing whatever you want without centering an outfit around being “flattering” or “attractive.” #howtodress #fashiontiktok #outfitinspo #outfitinspiration #styletips #femalegaze

♬ original sound – Kelsey Shea

Basically, just get out there and get flirting. Everything else will come later.

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