Identity is ever-changing, it may be difficult to understand where you stand and that is totally okay! Sexuality and gender is fluid, the most important part is letting yourself explore and learn what you feel the most comfortable with.
In this article, we’ll tackle what it means to be abrosexual and what it entails to be a part of this community.
What does being abrosexual mean?
Abrosexual refers to individuals whose sexuality is fluid and changes. This means an abrosexual person might identify as a lesbian one day and the next as asexual. This fluctuation of identity can happen within hours, weeks, or months. The timeline is very unique to each abrosexual person, there is no set pattern or order.
Another aspect of abrosexuality is the fluctuating intensity of attraction. This means they have different levels of attraction to someone, perhaps they find someone very attractive at one point, but after a day or two they completely lose sexual or romantic attraction to that person.
Many people confuse abrosexuality with asexuality, but these two identities are very different. Asexuality is unchanging, you lack sexual attraction to others and that does not change. On the other hand an abrosexual person might experience being asexual during their fluctuation, but that can change and they might identify as a lesbian or gay at a different point in time.
Learning that you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community might be scary at first, but there are many ways to plug yourself into the community and learn to be comfortable with your sexuality.
if you’re curious about how you might identify, here’s what you should know about what being abrosexual means:
History of the word abrosexual
The word abrosexual itself comes from the Greek root abro means “delicate” or “graceful.” This prefix symbolizes the flexibility and fluctuation of the abrosexual identity.
The word itself is relatively new even though abrosexual individuals have existed far before the creation of the word. It came about in 2013 on the online art community, DeviantArt. It was on this website that the meaning we know for abrosexuality was coined. Unlike many words in the LGBTQ+ community such as “intersex” or “transgender” the word abrosexual did not have an alternative meaning in the beginning. Because it was created as a label for those who felt like they had flexible sexual identities, the word has always had the same definition. It did not go through various iterations and has always meant the same thing.
When the abrosexual flag was created in 2015 the word became further popularized. Because the flag was posted on Tumblr the word and its meaning took off. It was the catalyst for the familiarization of the word within the LGBTQ+ community.
Alternatives to the word abrosexual
Because identity is personal and different people are comfortable using different terms there are a variety of ways to say the word abrosexual, including:
Over time language evolves and this creates new words derived from a multitude of historical nuances. Labels and terms can also carry connotations, bad or good, which is why one might identify more with one term over the other despite them meaning the same thing.
What NOT to call abrosexual people
Hateful words that refer to the abrosexual community should always be erased from conversations and speech. Offensive words such as the F-slur should be avoided at all costs, as they are derogatory.
It is also critical to note that members of the abrosexual community have begun to reclaim derogatory terms to take back the oppression they have faced. Although within the community this is acceptable it is still not okay to refer to abrosexual people with a derogatory term if one is not a part of the community themselves. Always ask before assuming someone’s sexuality and gender identity.
What makes someone abrosexual?
Being abrosexual cannot be defined by one single thing. Some abrosexual people might fluctuate between two sexual identities while another might fluctuate between five. In addition everyone’s timeline is different and this is what makes abrosexuality unique.
As discussed above abrosexual has often been confused with asexuality. Because ti is a newer word in the LGBTQ+ acronym people are still learning what it entails and means. In the same vein it is often compared to pansexuality. However, pansexuality refers to being attracted to people regardless of gender whereas abrosexuality refers to changing your sexual identity and intensity of attraction on a regular basis. An abrosexual person might be pansexual at one point, but this does not mean they are constantly attracted to people regardless of gender.
Like many such challenges, the case hinges on whether a gender-affirming care ban constitutes sex discrimination.
The abrosexual identity falls under the multisexuality umbrella. This umbrella includes all identities that are emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to more than one gender. It is important to note that some abrosexual individuals choose not to have partners or be in romantic relationships.
If you are questioning whether or not you are abrosexual you might want to ask yourself the following questions: Do you identify with more than one sexuality? Does this fluctuate often?If you answered yes you might want to consider identifying with abrosexuality.
Perspectives on being abrosexual
Because the word abrosexual is relatively new it leaves a lot of room for confusion and misconception. It is our responsibility to educate ourselves on new identities and communities within the LGBTQ+ community. With that being said it is important to also debunk myths about abrosexuality.
For example, one misconception people have about abrosexuality is that they are confused individuals who don’t know who they are. Besides being very harmful and hurtful, that statement is completely untrue. People do not pick and choose their identities or sexuality, it is simply a part of who you are. The fluctuation and flexibility that comes with being abrosexual is normal and should not be seen as confusion in any way, shape, or form.
Advocating for policies that benefit the abrosexual community can also be a great way to support them. Providing better resources for members of the LGBTQ+ community is always a positive way to benefit those who might have faced oppression or persecution.
The perfect way to keep up to date with these stereotypes and combating them is following abrosexual people on social media and listening to what they have to say on the topic. It is also a great way to feel connected if you are a part of the community and need the support of other abrosexual people.
The abrosexual flag
The flag originated in 2015 when a Tumblr user asked Mod Chad of pride flags-for-us to create a flag to represent the abrosexual community. From top to bottom, the flag features the colors dark green, light green, white, baby pink, and dark pink. The actual meaning of the colors is unknown as the original creator did not specify what each color means. However some Tumblr users have taken it upon themselves to create their own meaning for the flag colors, the most common being “Green represents a queer attraction, the fade to white is for the in-between stage of attraction shifting, and pink is for the actual shift itself. Also, the colors match that of watermelon, which could be a fun pun on the /fluidity/ of our orientation.”
All people are deserving of respect, regardless of gender, sexuality, or any other aspect of their identity. Understanding what it means to be abrosexual might change through the years, labels are always transforming and evolving.
Being abrosexual is unique to each person. Timeline and what sexualities you might experience fluctuate and change. Figuring out where you stand on the spectrum might take time and that’s completely fine. There should be no pressure when it comes to learning who you are as a person.
If some of the ideas above resonate with you and you’re thinking of coming out, make sure the conditions are safe and have a plan of action regarding housing and food if things don’t go as planned.
In addition, be sure to learn about the other identities that make up the LGBTQ+ community subscribe to the INTO newsletter to learn more.