John Waters’ Town and Country Cover is the Stuff of Dreams

Well folks, it’s finally happened. After a lifetime of marketing himself as Emily Post on acid, John Waters has finally graced the cover of Hearst mainstay “Town and Country.” 

Needless to say, all the girls are stoked.

In the Slim Aarons-inspired shoot and cover story, not only does Waters appear dressed to the nines in a smoking jacket that is surely making Truman Capote scream with envy in his grave, he gives readers some much-needed tips for living. Such as? Don’t move. Just don’t do it. Stay in one apartment or home.

“I never move. I’ve had the same phone numbers for so long.”

Imagine John Waters having a landline. Now THAT’S retro! He also, in addition to looking dapper as hell in Prada and Comme des Garçons, sets up some rules for writing success. According to Waters, you have to set a time to start writing and stick to it. As for Waters, he starts every day at 8am sharp:

“Not 7:59 a.m., not 8:01 a.m.—at 8 a.m. And every day I think, Oh I can’t do it, and at 8:01 a.m. I’m doing it. We go until about 11, 11:30, then I run my business in the afternoons. I’ve always done that. Done that for 40 years.”

He even gives us some tips for remaining beloved from none other than Elton John:

“[Being visible] is more than a way I make my living. First of all, I am in touch with the fans. Believe me, that’s important. It’s pressing flesh. It’s like campaigning. They come see everything you do for the rest of your life. Elton John told me that. The day you stop touring, it’s over.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m learning a lot! What other pearls of wisdom and stories from the road does Town & Country lover Waters have for us idiots at home? Well, there are the conventions, for one thing:

“Somebody came as the glory hole in Desperate Living and had to walk around the whole time as a wall with their head sticking through. They’re great, great fans.”

But Waters attributes his success to one thing and one thing only: sticking with it, no matter what. “You have to learn to ride the waves, and you always have to have a backup plan,” he says. “That’s why I did books. That’s why I always had spoken word shows. They weren’t less to me. That wasn’t a lesser career,” he says. “It was just a new way for me to tell stories. It was always, ‘I can’t do that, I can do this.’ ” You heard it here first! Or rather, you heard it in Town & Country

first. Keep going, ride the waves, and be like John Waters. That way, you can’t lose.

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