Joshua Rush Opens Up About Internalized Homophobia

Former Disney Channel star Joshua Rush tackled his own internalized homophobia in a heartbreaking Twitter thread.

Rush is best known for his role on the show “Andi Mack” as Cyrus Goodman, notable for being Disney’s first out-gay main character. After the show ended, Rush came out as bisexual on Twitter. But it hasn’t been smooth sailing, as his recent Tweets show.

“two years after coming out and my internalized homophobia still gets me in the biggest way,” he wrote. “i’ve been surrounded by nothing but love and acceptance since i came out, and yet. still. the shame.”

two years after coming out and my internalized homophobia still gets me in the biggest way.

i really find myself wondering all the time when i will stop feeling the shame — i’ve been surrounded by nothing but love and acceptance since i came out, and yet. still. the shame.

— Joshua Rush🏔 (@JoshuaRush) June 18, 2021

He went on to discuss his struggles with finding a label that fits, having his bisexuality erased based on if he dates a man or a woman, and being “out and proud and also still questioning sometimes.”

either way, if i speak out about being in relationship i’m masquerading for attention by being publicly bisexual when i date women and i’ll be seen as “actually gay” when i date a man publicly — whenever that ends up happening.

— Joshua Rush🏔 (@JoshuaRush) June 18, 2021

The morning after posting the thread, he Tweeted, “thank you to everyone sending their support and love in response to this thread. self-love is so hard and weird. i am reading every dm and reply, and even if you don’t see me reply, you are seen and you are loved.”

You’re seen and loved too, Joshua.

thank you to everyone sending their support and love in response to this thread. self love is so hard and weird.

i am reading every dm and reply, and even if you don’t see me reply, you are seen and you are loved. https://t.co/ViVSSfkFlQ

— Joshua Rush🏔 (@JoshuaRush) June 18, 2021