We all love a good movie makeover. Some really wow us and some look like they just popped off their LensCrafters glasses and that was it. Is Rachael Leigh Cook REALLY that different after taking off her Lisa Loeb specs and putting on her Mandee’s dress? If you haven’t guessed already, you won’t be seeing She’s All That on here. So let’s count down some of the most gag-worthy:
1. Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) – Mean Girls (2004)
This is an iconic moment for most gays born after 1990. Cady went from American Eagle to Bebe in a matter of days. I think the real makeover was her going from valedictorian to “most likely to have a tramp stamp” bitch.
2. Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) – Batman Returns (1992)
This is the epitome of feeling oneself. She went from a meek secretary in glasses and a BROWN skirt suit to seductress bitch who got some contact lenses and volumizing hair spray! And who doesn’t love when she purrs, “I dunno about you Miss Kitty, but I feel so much yummier.”
3. Link (Brendan Fraser) – Encino Man (1992)
Brendan Fraser was a BABE in the 90’s, I’ve always thought so. Well, until I saw him on the TV show The Affair recently. Now he looks like someone who would have to let everyone know he’s moved into the neighborhood.
4. Fern Mayo (Judy Greer) – Jawbreaker (1999)
One of the most sinister mean-girl makeovers in cinema history, Courtney Shayne (played by the legendary Rose McGowan), turns poor little Fern into bitch Vylette (with a questionable hairstyle). Putting her no longer in the shadow but in that sun!
5. Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep), Death Becomes Her (1992)
If you don’t love this film, you lose your gay card. They could have just released this scene as the entire movie, and we all still would have been gagging. Isabella Rossellini plus Queen Meryl? That’s a combo platter I’d order with a biscuit and a diet coke. When she stares in that mirror and her boobs inflate, her ass lifts, and her skin smoothes out…bitch, I wake up every morning hoping that’ll happen to me.
6. Louise Miller (Robyn Lively) – Teen Witch (1989)
Another magical makeover, and the best ‘80s one there is. Big hair, shoulder pads, ‘80s lewks as far as the eyes could see, and magical jewelry…TOP THAT!
7. Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) – Just Friends (2005)
We all know how hot Ryan Reynolds is, so seeing him go from a guy in a fat suit to a daddy in an Armani suit really made me question how Jamie Palamino didn’t jump on him the second he came back into town.
8. The Beast (Robby Benson) – Beauty & The Beast (1991)
Is it just me, or is the cartoon beast WAY hotter than the new movie beast? We need a gay version of this: Gaston The Beast. Just two men, and their hairy chests, in love.
9. Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer) – Stardust (2007)
I know, another Michelle Pfeiffer moment. Bitch, she can have ALL the moments! This whole transformation is basically me getting home on Fridays after work and getting ready for the weekend. But by Sunday, rest assured, I look like the balding, haggard, grotesque Lamia again…with a cold rag on my forehead, a giant bottle of Smartwater, and nine bottles of Advil.
10. Tai (Brittany Murphy) – Clueless (1995)
One of the most absolutely classic makeover scenes that will ever be. I basically wanted to do this to all my girlfriends in high school. Rinse out that Kool-Aid cherry red, toss the sweats and flannels and let’s go over to Rainbow so I can dress you up like my own giant living doll.
11. Josie Gellar (Drew Barrymore) – Never Been Kissed (1999)
She’s not Josie Grossie anymore! First, you must love her metallic pink prom dress. Second, adult Josie lives inside most of us. And the ending, at the baseball game, makes me reach for my Kleenex travel pack every single time.
Zeta Alpha Zeta – The House Bunny (2008)
Shelley basically turned a house of girls into the cast from the HBO show, Cathouse. The only thing missing was Air Force Amy. I love that Air Force Amy has a Wikipedia page and she’s described as “an American prostitute who MSNBC calls a living legend in the world of sex.” Now that’s #goals.
13. Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) – Pretty Woman (1990)
Pretty Woman is one of the most crucial movie makeovers to ever take place. She went from Rentboy to SeekingArrangements.com in one montage. But you couldn’t take the hooker out of her brain, just her clothes. And when she goes back to the store to tell those evil bitches they made a big mistake, that is a finger waving, gag-worthy, “GET THEM HENNY” moment.
14. Kevin & Marcus (Shawn & Marlon Wayans) – White Chicks (2004)
White Chicks, or the Iggy Azalea biopic, is probably the last great thing the Wayans brothers have done. Special shout out to Deb, from the TV show Dexter, for that whole scene where she calls herself Cellulite Sally. That’s some Oscar-nominated dialogue right there.
15. Anne Hathaway Movies
Really, 85.7% of Anne Hathaway’s movies have had her transforming somehow. I was starting to think she told her agent to just say yes to anything that has a makeover in the storyline. Please see below for evidence…