Caucasity

This massage video has the gays asking some hard, hot questions

What does it look like to release trauma from the body? Well, it can look a number of different ways, depending on what you’re looking for. Somatic therapy is a real thing, and there are many practitioners out there who are licensed to help folks with physical trauma.

But there are a few things that somatic therapy is absolutely not: for instance, it is not an a**-shaking, booty-quaking body roll performed on a mat in a room full of mounted antlers. At least…I don’t think it is?

When the delightful creator @ebonywarriorstudios, aka The Ebony Rohirrim, drew viewers’ attention to some kind of insane, perverted version of reiki last week, everyone who stayed to watch the video came away changed forever.

“This is for all of you who like to say they are uncultured, unseasoned,” he explains, referring, of course, to the caucasian chicanery on display in this video. “They have some of the richest cultural customs that you will ever see on this planet.”

It’s true that we caucasians do have a talent for taking something that exists in other cultures and removing it so far from that original context that it becomes…whatever this clownery is. Basically it’s not a massage, and it’s not reiki, but it is an excuse for a man to arch his a** to the heavens and moan. I mean,…I’m not knocking it, but I do have questions, and so does everyone else.

“HE ARCHED THAT BACK LIKE A PRO” one commenter wrote, while another agreed that he’s definitely a “pro power bottom” waiting to happen. Other viewers were simply unable to process what they’d just seen.

“I would give so much to go back five minutes ago to who I was before,” another commented confessed. Another described the practice on display as the “white people wish.com” version of Reiki, which is incredibly accurate.

“All I can say,” yet another commenter wrote, “is that I’ve never liked someone that hard where I will act like that on a table.”

Honestly, what more is there to say? If this is trauma therapy, where do you go to exorcise the trauma inflicted by whatever the hell this is?

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