Trump’s Nuclear Masculinity Issues Will Destroy Us All

· Updated on May 28, 2018

Wow! Cool! Donald Trump is totally fine with killing us all as long as we agree his dick is super huge!

Earlier this week, North Korean head of state Kim Jong Un claimed that the United States is within range of his nation’s nuclear weapons, adding that “a nuclear button [??] is always on the desk of my office.”

U.S. President Donald Trump responded to Kim with some threats of his own on Tuesday night, Reuters reports, tweeting that his penisI mean nuclear button was definitely way bigger, like a lot bigger, you guys.

“North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the ‘Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times,’” Trump tweeted. “Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”

Love to give men power. Love to have men in charge.

So, how are you gonna spend your remaining days on the planet? I think I’m gonna watch Carol with my friend Tyler. We try to do it every December because Carol’s technically a Christmas movie, but we ran out of time this year. Maybe I’ll go to the MoMA? I did just get a membership gifted to me by my bosses at my part-time job. That was really nice of them, much nicer than being collateral damage to an unqualified world leader’s penile fury.

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