Let’s get one thing straight: I’m gay.
But sexuality is fluid, and there are a few women out there that could turn me straight: namely Zendaya, Aja Naomi King, Zoe Kravitz, and… my friend Robin.
Wait…My friend Robin?
You heard right.
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The attraction wasn’t sexual immediately with Robin. It came on when I met her husband, Raul, who I also found to be attractive. Soon, I began having fantasies about the three of us together that were hard to conceal. As a writer, sometimes the only way I know how to process difficult conversations is to open a Google Doc and start word-vomiting. That’s how this letter I wrote to them started.
I never gave them the letter, because it became unnecessary when we discovered in natural conversation that we’d explore what it means to be a throuple. Nevertheless, I couldn’t just let this well-crafted letter go to waste, so I would like to share it with you now.
Take notes. Maybe you can use it someday to score your own 369.
Dear Robin and Raul,
This is the most vulnerable letter I’ve ever written. I never thought that I’d write a letter that gave me so many butterflies. Believe it or not, but Mrs. Dawn didn’t cover this in AP English.
When I met you, Robin, I was also meeting a crowd of Amber’s friends at a bar in Los Angeles. You were the only person to seem to understand me, and it wasn’t because I was drunk. I barely had one drink!
Raul, when we first met, you suggested we start a band together. You hadn’t even heard me play yet! Now that’s instant magnetism. Or reckless abandon. In either case, sign me up for more of that!
Before the pandemic, we planted the seeds of friendship. During the pandemic, we watered, mulched, took out some weeds, and gave sunlight to a relationship. We had fine dining, like Acai bowls, juice pouches, Chilli’s, and re-heated tamales. Those chocolate shrooms weren’t bad either.
This is the most vulnerable letter I’ve ever written.
We shared life events like Dia de Los Muertos, Coachella, and Samantha Gilweit’s comedy shows, and beating Raul at tennis, just like his grandma once did. We became criminals breaking Oakland’s curfew. We explored the great wilderness by kayaking, going to Yellowstone, and that jungle safari in the housewares section of Target.
I felt we grew on an emotional level with random FaceTime video calls and bedside chats. You both were special guest stars in my journal with 153 mentions. 153 – that’s impressive also because that’s almost as much as the number of items on the super long list of things I refuse to eat. (Yeah, I’m picky.) These adventurous and quirky interactions were eye-opening for me. I love you both deeply, as much as I hate spicy food deeply.
The night we watched the Bad Trip on Netflix, Raul threw out the word “throuple” before we climbed into bed together. It could’ve just been a sly comment or maybe it’s because we had too much of those CBD gummies (who knows what really in that stuff anyway?!)
Or maybe he meant to say bubble, struggle, muzzle, or blah, blah, blah. But we’re here now and maybe there’s something deeper there to that word throuple. I’m writing this letter because I wanted to state my intentions clearly and discuss boundaries.
Where do we go from here? Do we sit down together? Do we meet with our own therapists, or meet together?
This letter doesn’t change my view on where our relationship has already gone. It just invites us to add new things if we all decide on it. And truly, it doesn’t have to be sexual in a clothes-off kind of way. There’s so much I don’t know. I also know we’re all mature enough, that it’s worth exploring. Whatever happens, I don’t want to lose you as friends and I don’t want anything I propose to cause a strain on your marriage. Whatever we decide, it should enhance your marriage.
Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can finally exhale. Which is great, because I was getting light-headed. Where do we go from here? Do we sit down together? Do we meet with our own therapists, or meet together? I hope we’re able to talk more about what this means.
Whatever we decide, it should enhance your marriage.
…or you’ll read this letter, block my number on your phone, and I’ll change our names then publish this on Medium as “The Letter I Used to Request A Throuple with my Two Married Friends.” No, no, no. I’ll call it “The Letter I Used to Request A Throuple with my Two Married Friends…and How I Put My Life Back Together.”
I’ve thought about it and I decided to take this chance. I mean if William from Girlfriends did the same thing and the girls still remained close to him, maybe we’ll be alright, too. Plus, if you made it this far into the letter, it can’t be the worst idea.
And of course, whatever happens, we don’t have to tell your mom, Connie. 😉
Love always,
Charles
Charles Orgbon III (he/him) is an environmental sustainability consultant by day, and freelance writer by night. When it comes to writing, Charles has done a variety of creative projects, from personal essays to news journalism to even comics and songwriting. In 2020, he released his first EP, “A Survivor’s Reward.” He loves writing about identity, culture, and sexuality.