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9 Things to Do to Feel Less Helpless About the Kavanaugh Hearings

Earlier today, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted 11-10 to advance the Kavanaugh nomination to the Senate floor, with Sen. Jeff Flake calling for a one-week delay of the vote in order for the FBI to conduct a brief investigation into the accusations of sexual assault against Brett Kavanaugh. The vote followed a grueling 24-hour news cycle, and a full day of hearings Thursday. After Dr. Christine Blasey Ford gave her heartbreaking, shaky-voiced testimony recounting the time Kavanaugh allegedly assaulted her in high school, the Supreme Court nominee gave his own belligerent statement denying such claims.

Thousands of women on Twitter expressed their devastation from the triggering events of the past 24 hours, with the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) reporting a 201 percent increase in calls to the National Sexual Assault Hotline yesterday. And with everything being so markedly shitty, it’s easy to feel utterly helpless about the state of the nation, which is currently controlled by old white men, who are somehow both reptilian and ghoulish all at once. But hope is not lost; here are nine things you can to do help block Kavanaugh from being voted on to the Supreme Court, and also to take care of yourself:

Buy This “Believe Women” Shirt

In order to stand in solidarity with Dr. Ford, Actress Piper Perabo made t-shirts that say “Believe Women,” and all the proceeds from the shirts go toward a series of organizations that are helping prevent sexual assault, like the #MeToo movement, the National Domestic Workers Alliance, RAINN, End Rape on Campus, and Be A Hero. Celebrities like queer fave Sarah Paulson and LGBTQ ally Chelsea Handler have already copped theirs. Plus, they look super comfy and are only $28. Buy the shirt here.

Bake a Rage Cake

Yesterday, while Dr. Ford gave her testimony, I got together with two of my friends and baked a cake. It was extremely soothing and gave us something to do with our hands so as to keep them from violently shaking or vibrating off the counter like an iPhone fueled by the reverberations of oppression. Plus, here’s the best part of baking a cake: At the end, you get to eat cake.

Look at Photos of Cate Blanchett in Suits

LOOK AT THEM! Research has proven that staring at photos of Cate Blanchett in various multicolored suits increases endorphins and boosts your immune system—so Blanchett’s suits are actually a natural cure for rage and anxiety (research has not proven this).

Donate to These Key Democratic Candidates

Comedian Rob Delaney created a page where you can donate to all of the key Democratic candidates challenging Republican Senatorial seats that are up for re-election in November. You can donate any amount, and each dollar will go toward flipping the Senate towards the Democrats in 2019, which, based on the last 24 hours alone, we desperately need.

Delaney has already raised over $100k in 24 hours. This is one of those things where it actually feels like we can help take back our power. Chelsea Handler, too, has posted an alternative link where you can donate to the cause of unseating Republican Senators, such as Ben Sasse, Lindsey Graham, John Cornyn, and Thom Tillis.

Gaze at this Baby Animal

Apparently, there is an animal called a Dik Dik, which is a living, breathing Pokemon, and it’s making me feel hope again. Look at its body. Holy shit. I want to store it in my cheeks and call it my Gay Son.

Practice Witchcraft

The internet has been circulating this photo of Alyssa Milano glaring daggers at Brett Kavanaugh during yesterday’s hearings. Many social media users were quick to recall Milano’s beloved character Phoebe from Charmed, and hoped she was channeling the Halliwell sisters’ very own family magic. If you listen closely to the photo, you can hear Milano muttering vicious hexes like Professor Snape in the stands of Harry Potter’s first quidditch match. There is strength in numbers, so let’s band together and join other female celebrities who have already been performing dark magic on oppressive Republican lawmakers, like Lana del Rey did last July. *whispers* “Incendio.”

Watch the A Star is Born Trailer

If you can’t yet repeat the exact cadence of Lady Gaga’s “HAAAA AHHHs” from the A Star is Born trailer, now is the time to learn. We must remember to prioritize self-care in times of crisis or else we won’t be able to push forward, and watching this trailer until your eyes bleed will give you something completely useless to focus on between intermittent bouts of fury that lash out of your chest like gales of plasma bursts from the sun. Also watch the Captain Marvel trailer, because…Brie Larson.

Look at This Fucking Photo of Blake Lively, You Coward

Lately, Blake Lively has been playing Cate Blanchett’s favorite sport, X-Treme Suiting, and she’s gunning for gold. The actress has been furiously promoting her new movie A Simple Favor, and has decided to dress just like her character in the movie to do so. The results are jaw-dropping. Here, the grown-up queen of the Lower East Side challenges gender norms by gripping the skinny, inconsequential ankles of a naked man, which may be an apt metaphor for the patriarchy—unclear. Either way, I’m unwell.

Keep Calling Your Senators

As of right now, we have one week until the Senate will vote to confirm Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court—and he will be confirmed, if Republicans have the votes. Maine’s Sen. Susan Collins, Alaska’s Sen. Lisa Murkowski, North Dakota’s Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, and West Virginia’s Sen. Joe Manchin are still undecided. If you live in any of those four states, call the switchboard now at 202-804-8191 and demand these senators vote “no” on Kavanaugh, who has been accused of three acts of sexual assault and misconduct—including watching a gang rape of a college student—so far.

We have one week to ensure Brett Kavanaugh—who many fear will attempt to overturn Roe v. Wade if confirmed—isn’t voted on to the Supreme Court. Rage, self-care, take action, repeat.


Jill Gutowitz

Jill Gutowitz is a writer and humorist currently living in LA, originally from The Void.

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