George Santos blew campaign funds on the gayest things ever, report finds

This morning, after a nine-month investigation, the House Ethics Committee found Representative George Santos guilty of breaking the law. Federal law, to be precise: the committee found “substantial evidence” that Santos used campaign money to fund his personal desires, filed falsified financial reports, and lied about it. And the fact that he used the money for purchases from Sephora, Hermes, and OnlyFans subscriptions is the icing on the cake.

A 56-page report filed by the committee finds that Santos’s actions “warrant[s] public condemnation, is beneath the dignity of the office, and has brought severe discredit upon the House.”

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So what happens next? It’s not so clear. After a failed attempt to oust Santos from the House in early November, the Republican Rep. who allegedly stole credit card information and cheated donors, is fighting a 23-count indictment already despite claiming his innocence on all counts.

Whatever happens next, one thing is clear: the gays are laughing their heads off.

It’s called having a gay lifestyle!

Santos may be the epitome of the “born to slay, forced to work” meme