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Why is Christopher Meloni So Hot?

It’s not often that a 60-year-old man’s ass goes viral, but here we are. 

The Internet went agog for longtime “Law and Order: SVU” star Christopher Meloni when paparazzi pictures of his butt surfaced back in April. Fans of the show and people who have never seen a single episode (hi!) all flocked to the image of Meloni’s perfect peach. Everyone was confused, wondering, “how has this secret been so well-kept for so long?” One user even went so far as to ask how Meloni had the audacity to have “so much cake.” 

The Meloni butt incident was preceded by a paparazzi image of another Italian Stallion, “This is Us” and “Gilmore Girls” star Milo Ventimiglia made the rounds. It was leg AND ass day on the Internet!

Now, in a new cover story for Men’s Health, Meloni gets naked and speaks the following, never-to-be-forgotten words: “I catch flies with my ass cheeks, like a Venus flytrap.”

Now THAT’S what we call making it clap! Also, how is that not already a Nicki Minaj lyric? 

There are some other words of wisdom in the Men’s Health profile, but if we’re being entirely honest, it’s all about the pictures. The pictures are really where it’s at. I mean, come on:

It’s just criminal.

Do those splits, Chris!

Just when we thought we were out, he pulls us back in with those cheeks.

Okay but this CROP TOP LOOK?

For the record Chris, we are also free this Friday.

The Zaddy to end all Zaddies, truly.

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