Why is Christopher Meloni So Hot?

It’s not often that a 60-year-old man’s ass goes viral, but here we are. 

The Internet went agog for longtime “Law and Order: SVU” star Christopher Meloni when paparazzi pictures of his butt surfaced back in April. Fans of the show and people who have never seen a single episode (hi!) all flocked to the image of Meloni’s perfect peach. Everyone was confused, wondering, “how has this secret been so well-kept for so long?” One user even went so far as to ask how Meloni had the audacity to have “so much cake.” 

Fellas the tone has been set for the season. 🗣🗣 Follow as advised pic.twitter.com/IZqrldjzzg

— Fiona Applebum says #BlockShaunKing 🍎 (@WrittenByHanna) April 7, 2021

The Meloni butt incident was preceded by a paparazzi image of another Italian Stallion, “This is Us” and “Gilmore Girls” star Milo Ventimiglia made the rounds. It was leg AND ass day on the Internet!

Good evening to Chris Meloni and his butt and only Chris Meloni and his butt. https://t.co/wYLo0G5C2I

— nikki BOOskey 👻 (@thenikkibus) August 4, 2021

Now, in a new cover story for Men’s Health, Meloni gets naked and speaks the following, never-to-be-forgotten words: “I catch flies with my ass cheeks, like a Venus flytrap.”

Now THAT’S what we call making it clap! Also, how is that not already a Nicki Minaj lyric? 

There are some other words of wisdom in the Men’s Health profile, but if we’re being entirely honest, it’s all about the pictures. The pictures are really where it’s at. I mean, come on:

“I catch flies with my ass cheeks, like a Venus flytrap.”

For our September 2021 cover story, we met up with America’s Zaddy™, @Chris_Meloni, who’s not only swole at 60, but the proud owner of the butt that broke the internet to boot. 🍑 https://t.co/6Oex4N4PDz

— Men’s Health Mag (@MensHealthMag) August 4, 2021

It’s just criminal.

.@Chris_Meloni‘s butt is having a #HotBoySummer on cover of @MensHealthMag https://t.co/qXvhaUtZj4

— ET Canada (@ETCanada) August 4, 2021

Do those splits, Chris!

The year is 2077. 60 Minutes is airing a report looking back at the Men’s Health Chris Meloni cover.

Host Addison Rae asks me: “There are rumors that the Meloni butt shots are out there somewhere. Is that true?”

I smile a wrinkled, 85-year-old smile.

“Oh…they’re out there.” pic.twitter.com/x06apMrwK2

— Spencer Dukoff (@SpencerDukoff) August 5, 2021

Just when we thought we were out, he pulls us back in with those cheeks.

🤣🤣🤣Help!!! Someone save me! Get me off this Butt thread of Chris Meloni!!!😋 https://t.co/Di6a5Nw1w2

— Toastie (@Toastiewiththe) August 4, 2021

On our way to look at @Chris_Meloni‘s @MensHealthMag photoshoot for the millionth time today. pic.twitter.com/puPa6PVsS5

— 𝐋𝐀𝐖 & 𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑 (@lawandordertv) August 4, 2021

Okay but this CROP TOP LOOK?

Not me doing adding more butt workouts and extra squats to my workouts because of @Chris_Meloni and his ass. #inspired pic.twitter.com/vcEDCRNO9C

— Sam ✨ (@chxstainiac2) July 29, 2021

christopher meloni I’m free on friday if you wanna hang out this friday maybe cause it’s friday the day I’m free pic.twitter.com/j0rzGGzWjv

— vic amaro (@brittonhargitay) August 4, 2021

For the record Chris, we are also free this Friday.

look, if christopher meloni says it, it MUST be a word pic.twitter.com/W9vwKtMOZh

— Nick Andersen (@nicktheandersen) August 5, 2021

The Zaddy to end all Zaddies, truly.