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A Pandemic-Inspired Year of Being “Horny on Main”

Art by David Quinton

Where were you when you first heard the “Savage” remix? I’ll venture to say, your house, probably. That’s where I was. That’s where we all were! I remember it very well because it was the day I became horny on main. 

About a year ago, on April 29, 2020, in the chaotic, confusing early days of the pandemic, Megan Thee Stallion and Beyoncé released a song that seemed to capture the multitude of emotions happening inside my head, all at once, one second after the next. “Sassy, moody, nasty. Acting stupid.”

Mentally I was (am still?) there. 

When Beyoncé teased she “might start an OnlyFans,” it was almost Biblical. A new commandment. A hallelujah for “horny on main,” the concept of being unapologetically sexy on your primary social media accounts without a drip of shame. 

Locked down at home, with no one to pay attention to me but my plants, my cat, and my boyfriend (God bless them), unsure of whether I would live another day, I posted a shirtless photo. For the first time in weeks, my body, or at least a curated digital version of it, transgressed the four fucking walls. It felt liberating.  

Beyoncé’s cheeky reference not only gave me permission to post a nipple pic, but it also foreshadowed the year that would follow, how horny on main we all would soon become. While Beyoncé only teased about posting her nudes, other celebrities actually did it. Just last week, Time magazine declared OnlyFans one of the most influential companies for paying out billions to creators. Imagine, a 401K from posting dick pics.

Ariana Grande released (sex) positions, an album dedicated entirely to the art of “getting dicked down.” Vers rights!

As the pandemic dragged on and physical touch itself continued to be literally outlawed, horny on main got more mainstream, and sex found itself into our culture in a decidedly more explicit way. Meg Thee Stallion followed up the “Savage” remix with another sex-in-you-face anthem: “WAP” alongside Cardi B, who herself started an OnlyFans timed to the song’s release. Chris Evans “accidentally” shared a nude pic and leveraged the attention to encourage people to vote. Ansel Elgort did it purposefully to raise money for charity. 

Then came a horny on main magnum opus. Ariana Grande released (sex) positions, an album dedicated entirely to the art of “getting dicked down.” Vers rights! The title of her song, “34+35,” is the album’s only euphemism. If that, given you can find the calculator app on your phone. The remix recruited Doja Cat, who had an early hit with a song about cybersex, and Meg Thee Stallion, who really should be in the history books by now as horny on main’s commander in chief.

On TV, things also got a little x-rated. Bridgerton became a cultural phenomenon with its too-hot-even-for-cable-TV sex scenes, also set during sexually repressed times. I could just sense show creator Shonda Rhimes, after Scandal and Grey’s Anatomy, finally having the freedom to go there after years of censoring her fantasies for primetime. And of course, there was an actual reality show titled, Too Hot to Handle, with the premise that you simply couldn’t pay strangers enough money not to bang. 

In 2021, we might all start an OnlyFans.

It’s not just TV characters and celebs feeling themselves. Every day TikTokers proudly took it all off on-camera to recreate the popular “Silhouette Challenge,” and now gay guys have secret Twitter accounts devoted to watching and sharing porn. As we continue to rethink what NSFW (Not Suitable for Work) means in the age of working from home, who knows?

In 2021, we might all start an OnlyFans.

Although a direct result from a year of literally being cooped up, “horny on main” will be my post-pandemic vibe. Because at the end of the day it’s really not about getting attention or validation. It requires nothing back from other people. 

Being horny on main is about bombarding the world with everything you are. Sassy, moody, nasty. Whether they’re ready for it or not. ♦

Oscar Raymundo is a writer and producer, currently at Instagram. He has spent the last decade working on his first novel. Follow him at @oscarraymundo.

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