Well, the day we feared has finally, probably come, and Nero (Elon Musk) is fiddling like his life depends on it. Twitter is sputtering out, and an entire global community is in mourning. But since it’s Twitter, everyone’s being pretty hilarious about it.
We’ll start with the jokes: Lord knows we’re in need of a laugh right now.
This wasn’t just a hell site, it was a hell home
— heather (@lollyrots) November 18, 2022
if twitter goes down i will start gardening or something. just kidding, i am going to start physically assaulting people in public
— cory (@coolmathgame_) November 18, 2022
Why is this still here
— Las Culturistas (@LasCulturistas) November 18, 2022
My books looking at me as twitter burns to the ground pic.twitter.com/BAg0UYNXu5
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) November 18, 2022
This is the library of Alexandria but with hole pics
— Rose Dommu (@rosedommu) November 18, 2022
me looking at twitter: this feels like the end of toy story 3 when all the toys accepted their deaths as they approached the incinerator
my wife: what the fuck are you talking about
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) November 18, 2022
banks in 1929: well look at how many people want to visit our banks right now pic.twitter.com/cn0TSM5Nom
— Ken Cheng twitch.tv/kenchengcomedy (@kenchengcomedy) November 18, 2022
— JRR Jokien (Parody) 🗡️🏹🪓 (@joshcarlosjosh) November 18, 2022
i love how no one has suggested going over to facebook, we’ve all unanimously written it off as boomer hell and would rather have nothing lmao
— Roxy (@RoxyTall) November 18, 2022
I wish Lea Michele could understand what’s happening right now
— Nat Queen Coal🎄 (@NatashaOladokun) November 18, 2022
i can’t just “pivot to instagram.” i don’t want to live on an app that makes me feel bad about myself. i want to live on app that makes me feel bad about the world.
— David Mack (@davidmackau) November 18, 2022
“Do I look like I know how Mastodon works?” pic.twitter.com/YWyq5u16JH
— RETRO: OLD MEDIA ENTHUSIAST 🇨🇦 🏳️⚧️ 🏳️🌈 (@ThatRetro) November 18, 2022
The earnest:
For years people asked why I liked Twitter. My answer: it was a place that reminds me how interesting, weird, funny, smart—and yes, sometimes even kind and caring—people are. Thanks, all of you. I learned a lot from you. If/when Twitter goes dark, I hope our paths cross again. ❤️
— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) November 14, 2022
I joined Twitter to be a huge public bitch about things and it ended up getting me every job I’ve ever had and also a following so upsettingly large that I am no longer comfortable being a huge public bitch about anything, thank u Twitter
— Helen Rosner (@hels) November 18, 2022
The oddly sweet:
Couples who met on Twitter pic.twitter.com/DTu4Jbmalz
— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) November 18, 2022
This should be the last tweet https://t.co/znABDJbLQa
— Carey O’Donnell (@ecareyo) November 17, 2022
I’ve literally never been more embarrassed in my life pic.twitter.com/j3jmSY7mGo
— Aol.com (@lukasbattle) November 18, 2022
the vibes rn pic.twitter.com/Mu8pCZqX7s
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) November 18, 2022
If Twitter shuts down catch me in the town square shouting “hear ye hear ye”
— JP 2 (@breadbungler) November 18, 2022
The confessional:
If twitter shuts down I think you all should know that I don’t even work for AriZona. Someone just left this account logged into a Macbook at the Apple Store in Queens and I’ve been using it ever since
— AriZona Iced Tea (@DrinkAriZona) November 18, 2022
no matter what happens to twitter i will continue to glorify drug abuse and the gay lifestyle to impressionable young people through whatever means available to me
— gg lily allen (@lumpen_princess) November 18, 2022
I’m gonna be on here til the bitter end telling you to transition
— Colby Gordon (@badinfinity2) November 18, 2022
My only regret wasn’t being gayer and sluttier on here, sooner. I had to fall in love and shit, what a waste.
— Joseph Hernandez (he/him) (@joeybear85) November 18, 2022
I asked God to take the distractions out of my life, but I didn’t think he would’ve taken it this far. I didn’t mean Twitter lord 😭😭
— Sketel 🇯🇲 (@rieslingbeauty) November 18, 2022
And finally, the hopeful:
me right now vs me two months from now when twitter is still here pic.twitter.com/gqV27X2OnS
— i (@hintzenthusiast) November 18, 2022
Twitter only had enough engineers remaining to keep it on for one more night, but it miraculously kept working for eight.
— Joel S. (@jh_swanson) November 18, 2022
if twitter dies we can sit outside a cafe all day like middle aged italian men
— ❤️🔥 (@dunwaIl) November 18, 2022
