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Apparently Trump can’t stop farting during trial

As Trump’s hush money trial continues, the world sits in complete and total agony waiting for someone, anyone to throw this man in jail. The jurors have at last been selected, and the trial is about to begin in earnest, but there’s something not quite right. Something in the air, you might say.

According to reporter Ben Meiselas of Meidastouch, Trump can’t not only can’t keep his eyes open during the proceedings: he also can’t contain his flatulence in court.

I mean, this tracks: sleeping and farting are a match made in heaven. You can’t have one without the other. And honestly, this is the one piece of info about this trial that’s actually making me feel bad for Trump’s lawyers.

Now word is spreading, and we’re cackling.

If we can’t get any peace of mind from this trial that Trump will finally land in jail, at least we can be entertained.

Sources say he’s letting those stinkers rip!

The question on everyone’s mind is: does this count as a violation of the gag order or what?

This news is even funnier if you happen to live in the UK, where the word “trump” is slang for passing gas.

The fact that we haven’t figured out how to give this man the Santorum treatment is truly a baffling failure on America’s part.

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