Let’s go on a ridiculous journey together. A few days ago, the transsexual internet was besieged by a press release that came straight from hell. Writer Katelyn Burns was among the first to report on this bizarre new… product?
Just got a press release for this new product called “pronoun water” I shit you not pic.twitter.com/LAlnIRUIRG
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) July 20, 2021
The comments, naturally, went crazy. What the hell is Pronoun Water, and why? Everyone wanted to know.
Ah yes, gender fluid.
— Rabbit Cohen (@BathysphereHat) July 20, 2021
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) July 20, 2021
Apparently, Pronoun Water is an actual, real company that launched a few days ago and sells water bottles displaying pronouns on them. That’s it! The website explains that “this water bottle is perfect for those who want to share their pronouns with pride! 🏳️⚧️” The water bottles also provide an explanation of what pronouns are (LOL) on the back, proving that they’re 100% not actually for or about trans people and never were. Once everyone’s basic “what the hell” questions were finally answered, it was time for the Dragging:
drinking my pronoun water on my way to get hate crimed https://t.co/7ah2ZASMt8
— hello cow gil in the sand (@oafworld) July 20, 2021
“Pronoun water” is for cis people who think they’re good allies but actually have a lot of transphobia they haven’t worked through 🙃
— Oliver-Ash Kleine✨ (@OliverAshKleine) July 20, 2021
Are you sitting up straight? Taken your meds? Have you drank your pronoun water? https://t.co/AAD9nEGnF5
— Niko Stratis (@nikostratis) July 20, 2021
Nothing is going to be more fun than having to be called a man because they ran out of female pronoun water. https://t.co/1yJHWDWEcg
— Christina Tasty (@ChristinaTasty) July 21, 2021
Me after drinking from the they/them bottle pic.twitter.com/WkS0HOv7BF
— Saucey Noodle is a bunnyboi (5.55 SPOILERS) (@SauceMyNoodle) July 22, 2021
Trans activist and icon Gwendolyn Smith told it like it is:
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“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then they market cheesy products to you, then you win.”
— Gwendolyn Ann Smith (@gwenners) July 20, 2021
User @JewelKnightJess gave us a peek into the Pronoun Water boardroom:
“What are the kids into these days that we can sell to them?”
“My granddaughter says ‘pro-nouns’ are all the rage, everybody’s doing them.”
“I love it!” pic.twitter.com/xuij93Ncjx
— JewelKruleJess 🎮🎲🖌️🏳️⚧️ (@JewelKnightJess) July 20, 2021
Dr. Nick Gordon pointed out that there might be a better avenue for TeePublic merch bespoke trans items:
Right…. But what about pronoun coffee? pic.twitter.com/mq2TEVipUY
— Nick Gorton, MD 🏳️🌈🐾 (@RNickGorton) July 20, 2021
Someone pointed out that the founder of Pronoun Water is actually a trans woman, which simultaneously makes the situation better and worse (if you’re trans, you just know.)
Not to pick a fight, but we trans people are not above criticism, even in this particular arena. This comes off as mercenary at best, and she hardly gets to use her identity as a shield for that.
— GAYCAB (@HELLBREAKFAST) July 22, 2021
User @HELLBREAKFAST, however, explained that just because a CEO is trans doesn’t mean they’re in it for the right reasons, or above reproach, or exempt from the capitalist machinations of modern commerce.
let’s talk about how trans issues have been reduced down to pronouns & aesthetic capitalism has *jumped on this*
— Kaitlyn (she&they) (@createlyn_) July 21, 2021
False allyship truly knows no bounds, and also has absolutely no dignity. But we knew that already, didn’t we?
