Your precious little pooch is likely one of your best friends. You lounge together, take long walks together, and on lazy weekends, neither of you bathe. Like every healthy friendship, your canine partnership comes with its fair share of envy. You stared with envy at your pup while it licked its genitals with ease. Your dog saw bitter green when you ate those two large pizzas by yourself and then shoved the empty boxes into a neighbor’s trash can to hide your shame. However, not many guys know that Fido can also be the best wingman. Gays generally don’t care about things like babies, but they do love a friendly doggy.
Here’s how to use man’s best friend to get a man:
1. Send Those Pics – When chatting with a guy online, and he asks for more photos, make sure that you send one of you and your dog. Doggy couch pics can be cute, but they are often signs of a recluse. The photo should be of you and your pooch on a grassy field or strolling down a city street, so your potential mate doesn’t realize what a hermit you really are.
2. Walk That Dog – Find the gayest part of the gayest part of your city, and walk your dog there. Make sure there are plenty of guys around at the time and not on a random Tuesday afternoon. If you’re confident enough, remove your shirt and shove it into a back pocket. Now strut! Strut as though your love life depended on it!
3. Pup Your Wallpaper – Say you meet a cute guy and want to show him pictures from your latest vacation to a fabulous resort in a third world country. You lean in to display your photo album, but the first thing he sees is a lock screen with your adorable doggy. He’ll be so flustered by your panting pup that he couldn’t possibly pass up an invite back to your place!
4. Hit Up a Dog Beach – Whether you love hot sand and salty water or hate them with a fiery passion, a dog beach is the best place for scouting a canine-loving man. Sashay in your Speedo down the seashore and delicately lay down your free towel that came with a $50 or more purchase of Guess jeans. Sit down and scan the shoreline for hotties. When you spot one, unleash your pup to play with his dog. In just a few minutes, you might have a new play pal, too.
Now that you have the dog and the knowledge to make him or her your wingman, put your skills to the test. Any dog will do from beefy Rottweilers to tiny, shivering Chihuahuas with alopecia. The only thing you’ll need is confidence that these plans work—and they do. Just remember, if the guy isn’t into your pup, he’s not the man for you.