Please Stop

White Gays, Please Don’t Do This

So, something happened on Twitter. 

Needless to say, it wasn’t taken well, for a variety of reasons. One, this is an invasive question. Why does someone else’s hair concern you? Also, even if it were a lace front, you still don’t get to ask someone if it is. Two, who taught you about this? Please know that watching “Legendary” or “RuPaul’s Drag Race” does not make you an expert on Black LGBTQ+ culture. Three, even if you think it, don’t ever say. Oh, and stop thinking about it too. 

There’s an obsession with Black hair that manifests as an exotification, othering, and/or vilification of it that leads to stupid questions like that one posed in the above tweet. Besides the discrimination that LGBTQ+ folks experience daily, Black queer and trans folks still have to deal with racism, on top of other “isms” that are thrown their way. 

Please know that watching “Legendary” or “RuPaul’s Drag Race” does not make you an expert on Black LGBTQ+ culture.

Just know that even if you are a part of a marginalized group, like being a card-carrying member of the LGBTQ community, you hold a variety of identities. Those identities can either be subjected to oppression or carry privilege. If they carry privilege, then they carry power, and with that power comes the great responsibility to continuously check that privilege, so as to not cause harm to others. 

The exact opposite happened here, and of course the internet had some thoughts:

This is a reminder that just because you’re a part of a marginalized group doesn’t mean you can’t marginalize those who are also in that group with you. 

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