Here are all the reasons you should stop thirsting after Matt Rife

If you’ve never before heard the name Matt Rife, well, congratulations: you’ve resisted the zeitgeist. And for good reason: Rife is yet another “edgy” comedian who insists on relying on cruelty to pad out his comedy special. And while most of us remained blissfully unaware of Rife, a man who looks like something you’d get if you ran Cillian Murphy through the Ryan Murphy leading man filter, as of today we have lost that privilege.

Yesterday, a certain joke from his Netflix special Natural Selection started circulating, and let’s just say it’s…really bad. It’s a joke about domestic abuse from a man who—as many critics have pointed out—has a largely female audience.

When asked to apologize for the disrespectful joke, Rife posted an IG “apology” that linked to a page selling special needs helmets.

So yeah, people aren’t thrilled. And they shouldn’t be, because this is far from the only stain on Rife’s history as an edgelord.

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There are so many things we could bring up: the blaccent, the time he threatened to beat up fellow comedian Brandon Wardell…

But worst of all, he harrassed Zendaya publicly in 2017. During an episode of MTV’s Wild N’ Out, Rife propositioned Zendaya using extremely gross language and then proceeded to TOUCH HER FACE without consent. It was a trespass on so many different levels, and some of us haven’t forgotten.

It’s one thing to be a gross cultural appropriator, it’s another to make a disrespectful joke about victims of domestic abuse, and it’s still another to put your hands anywhere near the majestic face of Zendaya. So yes, this man is on everyone’s sh*tlist today and rightfully so.

Even if cancellation isn’t in the cards, I think I speak for everyone when I say it would be absolutely lovely and a complete gift from the universe to never hear about this man again.