This vintage Bernadette Peters ice cream ad might be the gayest thing you’ll see all day

If you’ve had the pleasure of reading Barbra Streisand’s doorstopper of a memoir, you’ll know that among the many things the diva loves the most—including midnight massages, Donna Karan designs, and James Brolin’s teeth—is a good pint of coffee ice cream. Why coffee? I don’t know—you’d have to ask her. But I can imagine that for a woman who has charmed the world with her golden voice for decades, a pint of Häagen-Dazs’s finest goes down real easy on that hard-working throat.

The same might be said for another songstress the gays adore: one Bernadette Peters. We were thrilled to learn that she posed for some extremely campy photos awhile back, and now we’re getting word that the diva herself once did an extra-raunchy commercial for Breyer’s Ice Cream in the 90s. For those of you wondering, yes, this does count as a Gay Emergency.

In response to someone claiming that all media is “drifting closer and closer to p*rn” (like it’s a bad thing,) an extremely helpful gay came to our cultural rescue by offering a counterpoint: Bernadette Peters almost reaching climax over a gallon of Breyer’s vanilla, way back in the cable television days.

Now everyone is feeling the nostalgia. Bring back this energy!

Why can’t we do brand deals in the fun, campy way, instead of the sneaky, undisclosed way!

Do we deserve the world we could have if Bernadette Peters was still hawking ice cream on TV? I don’t know. I simply don’t know.

And for those of you interested in the full experience (everyone reading this, I’m guessing,) here’s another one. You are welcome!

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