Pride Problems

The gays are asking: Do straight men belong at Pride?

Just in time for Pride Month, an age-old discourse is once again rearing its head: Should straight men go to Pride? And this year, another question has been thrown into the mix: Should straight men go to Chappell Roan concerts?

The discourse stemmed from a viral TikTok showing what appeared to be a heterosexual couple getting engaged during a Chappell Roan concert.  


This is such a crazy life. Im so happy to get to spend the rest of it with you🖤 You will always be my red wine supernova🖤 #chappellroan #redwinesupernova #iloveyou #lifeisgood

♬ original sound – Maddi Griffin

That proposal apparently inspired a separate viral post, this time on X, that compared the Chappell Roan concert to Pride, as both could be considered queer spaces.

“this has nothing to do with anyone being bisexual but I don’t want [your] cishet [boyfriend] in a queer space,” they wrote. “leave him at home don’t bring him to pride. Don’t bring him to chappell roan. why would a MAN be there.”

“seeing a straight proposal at chappell roan like girl im happy for u but why r yall bringing ur boys to chappell,” they wrote in a reply to that post. “the comments were like wow ur all biphobic like god forbid A Man isn’t present at a lesbian’s show.”

There’s a lot to break down about that post. First, it automatically assumes that the person proposing is a man, is straight, and is cis, when none of those things can be assumed at first glance. As one user put it, someone who appears to be a cishet man “could be 10+ different flavors of LGBT.”

Rejecting people from queer spaces based on their gender presentation also doesn’t leave room for closeted folks, who could be seeking community prior to coming out.

Then there’s the bizarre vitriol against bisexual women, who often get heat for theoretically bringing their cishet boyfriends into queer space, as opposed to any other cis, straight men who might be attending Pride.

And beyond all that, a man might want to be at a Chappell Roan concert simply because he’s a Chappell Roan fan. Yes, Roan is a lesbian artist with a large sapphic fan base, but that doesn’t mean her music isn’t enjoyed by people outside that demographic.

That logic applies to straight and cis folks going to Pride, too. Even if they’re not queer themself, lots of allies still attend Pride to support their queer loved ones and show their support for LGBTQ+ folks. Ultimately, the discourse is tired — but the memes it produces are at least good for a laugh.

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