Designer D*ck

Omar Apollo is About to Release the Horniest Piece of Merch

Omar Apollo teased some new merchandise based on his hit song “Tamagotchi,” and it’s a lot more creative (and intimate) than your average band tee.

On February 22, Apollo tweeted a photo of a single condom. The black wrapper bears the words, “We cum at the same time” over the title of his debut, chart-topping album, Ivory. “Merch c*ming soon,” Apollo wrote in the caption.

The words reference lyrics from the song, “Tamagotchi.” “Your body is on me, you touching on me / We cum at the same time / At the same time,” goes the hook.

Currently, there’s no branded condom merch store as of yet, so it’s possible he’s only joking. That didn’t stop the internet from suggesting different colors, other branded sex merch, and descending into general thirst tweeting.

This isn’t the first time that Apollo’s socials have been a gold mine for sex positivity. Last fall, he responded to a fan speculating about his alleged queerbaiting with a simple, “no i b sucking dick fr.”

If the OP had done his homework, he would have known that Apollo has always been open about his sexuality. “In Indiana, people were saying, ‘He’s not even gay, he’s just doing that to be artist-y,’” he said in an interview with Billboard. “I always thought it was funny because the reality of my life is not that; it’s not a choice, it’s just what I am.”

More recently, the hit singer inaugurated 2023 with a new single celebrating non-monogamy, titled “3 Boys.” “Three boys would work if I wasn’t so tethered to you,” go the lyrics. “What should I do / I can’t even choose / Tethered to you.”

After a whirlwind year of stellar EPs and a debut album, he received his first Grammy nomination in the Best New Artist category.

As Apollo is currently on tour, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to peep the merch table for all our prophylactic needs.

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