This Rare 90s “G.I. Joe” Pilot is as Gay as They Come

Back in the 90s, it was perfectly normal for a show to debut not on any network, but on a VHS tape. That’s correct: a VHS tape you had to go to your local Wal-Mart, Sears, or video store to find.

And for some shows, there was another reason for putting out a show on VHS. While you were in the department store picking up the pilot, you could also convince your mom to pick up those sweet tie-in action figures.

Such was the fate, and the legacy, of the short-lived G.I. Joe series “G.I. Joe: Sgt. Savage and His Screaming Eagles.” The pilot, which recently resurfaced online from a VHS rip, follows a WWII action hero who is cryogenically frozen in 1944 (we loved that plot in the 90s) and brought back to life just in time to face America’s newest enemy…a man known simply as “General Blitz.”

Related:

The Action Figures That Made Me Gay

The massive pecs on G.I. Joe, the rippling biceps of Captain America and Goku from Dragon Ball Z.

With a tagline like “from out of the past to save the future,” you’d think this show would have run forever. But sadly, it never made it past episode one. Which is a damn shame, because let me tell you, Sgt. Savage and his ultra-ripped Screaming Eagles—with totally butch names like “Mouse,” “D-Day,” and “Grill”—are a bunch of screaming queens. In the best way possible.

G.I. Joe: Sgt. Savage and the Screaming Eagles (1990)s 1st episode with associated commercials
by u/AugustineBagatelli in ObscureMedia

Now along with fully qualifying as a cartoon that made 90s kids gay, I’m happy to report that “Screaming Eagles” (which is what I’ll be calling it now) is kind of awesome. On full display are the classic G.I. Joe figurine’s thick thighs, ripped arms, and pecs that could peck your entire eye out. And because G.I. Joe is famously a WWII action hero, there’s a lot of—let’s just say homosocial activity going on.

Sgt. Savage is displeased to be rudely awakened from his 50-year slumber, but the real takeaway is that being cryogenically frozen has kept his pecs in great condition.

Once brought back to consciousness, he regales the US government with stories of how he was forced to become a “super fighter” by an unknown entity. They may have removed his nipples (I’m making an educated guess) but they could never remove his patriotic fighting spirit.

If you’re a fan of the G.I. Joe Extended Universe, “Screaming Eagles” is definitely worth checking out, if only to take a sweet, sweet trip down memory lane to a place and time where cartoon men had huge pecs, tiny heads, and very limited mobility.