Keep It Gay

This TikTok explains how being queer saves us from a horrible fate

As queer people, when we have to contend with the reality of straight life, we’re usually seeing the worst side of it. There are the legislators that would write us out of history and existence, and the politicians running on a platform that frames our human rights as a kind of wedge issue. All of which is gross, to be sure.

But there’s a less obvious and more banal aspect to heterosexual life that we don’t often come face to face with, and honestly, thank God for that.

One TikTok account, run by lesbian couple @Col & Ari, brought this to our attention recently.

“Our feed is all just gay people,” Col said, which led her to wondering how the other half of the social algorithm might play out.

“Can you imagine opening up social media and not seeing a gay person?” She asked.

Honestly…no! That would be bleak as hell! But it gets worse…

“Straight people,” Col says, “they open up their phone, and there are videos of people cooking steaks.”

“They don’t immediately see like, four videos of Chappell Roan’s latest concert,” Ari chimed in.

Literally unthinkable!

Life without Chappell Roan soundbytes, lesbian couples, silly gay house tours, and trans discourse? Couldn’t be us!

“They don’t open their phone to a shablam,” Ari said, referring to the popular Vogue move otherwise known as a death drop. “Not a shablam in sight!”

In essence, life on the straight side of the Internet would be a sick, sad existence, and we are feeling blessed to be protected from that bleakness. After all, what is social media if not an excuse to hang out with all the little gay people in our phones?

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