Welcome to Pride Picks, where we’ll be recommending a piece of art every weekday through June. To kick off, here’s a forgotten, out-of-print novel of gay life that’s equally grim and hilarious.
I didn’t know what I was in for when I picked up David B. Feinberg’s Eighty-Sixed from the wonderful Bookends used bookstore in Florence, MA. But the cover intrigued me—along with the admittedly cursed blurb about Feinberg being a gay W**** A****.
I’m about 100 pages in now, and I must admit I’m loving it. AIDS activist Feinberg—who sadly lost his life to the virus in 1994—gave us a queer version of Portnoy’s Complaint, with less therapy and more hooking up. The prose is brisk, hilarious, and presents a perfect time capsule of the sex-charged climate of queer New York in the years leading up to the AIDS crisis. Our narrator B.J. leads us through the sweaty gyms, night spots, and bathhouses where gay men go to cruise in the late 70s, never losing hope that he might find the man he’s looking for, the one who will put an end to hookups altogether. Packed with references to the long-shuttered gay bars of NYC and dotted with hilarious commentary about gay life. Witness onesuch insert titled “How to Get Rid of the Trick Who Won’t Leave,” which begins:
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“Certain vintage Elton John albums are effective, as are acoustic Joni Mitchell, lesbian folksingers, Polish operas, and Bob Dylan’s Self Portrait. When you shower after sex, be sure to give him a towel you have sprinkled with itching powder. As he dries, mention the case of crabs you’re almost positive you’re over….Talk to him in baby talk. “Does ootems want a widdle nap? Does ootems want to go sweep?” Ask for reassurance every five minutes. Apologize profusely. Stare into his eyes and say in the sweetest voice imaginable, “Penny for your thoughts?”
As you can probably tell, Eighty-Sixed is hilarious…except when it isn’t. As the AIDS epidemic encroaches on B.J. and his friends’ lives—including a gay priest and a straight woman who can’t stop turning her boyfriend off with her terrible cooking—things take a sharp turn for the worse, and it’s not for the feint of heart. But Eighty-Sixed is worth the pain. It’s a rollicking, wild adventure that captures queer life in total upheaval, and a time capsule that richly deserves to be back in print.
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