INTO Investigates

Just How Long Have the Lead Singers from Snail Mail and MOMMA Been Dating?

· Updated on October 4, 2023

After following up the unrequited dedications of Lush with the utterly lovesick Valentine, Snail Mail’s Lindsey Jordan has long proven her bonafides as a true romantic. Although love isn’t her only source of inspiration, the subject is certainly one she knows how to command; whether she’s shredding or singing, Lindsey Jordan knows how to play on the heartstrings. 

When it comes to Valentine, it might seem like Jordan spends a lot of time on the people who broke her heart. In reality, she told Pitchfork: “No matter what, I wanted the songs to be about me.” Written with noted specifics and intimate admissions, the lyrics that resonate are craftily grounded in the truths of Snail Mail’s own experiences. Where “Glory” sees Snail Mail getting high in hotel rooms with the ever-coercive fame monster, “Ben Franklin” follows suit, detailing the real-life consequences of rehab and the lyrical warning that superstardom can come at the cost of one’s self. “Post-rehab, I’ve been feeling so small,” Jordan sings, and as much as Valentine thrives enticingly in turmoil, the creative process that went into making the record doubled as Jordan’s means of moving on.

The North American leg of the “Valentine Tour,” which kicked off in 2022, brought lyrics that were recorded in solitude to the expectant ears of die-hard Snail Mail fans. Crooning her secrets into the mic, Jordan performed as Catholics go to confession; for the cathartic realization that not a burden can not only be shared, but made lighter in the process.

With every private moment made public, Jordan strips away the intimacy of each memory in song. When Snail Mail’s musical therapy session has come to a close, the emotional experience follows the listener home to exist in the hearts and minds of those whom it resonated so deeply with. Because behind Snail Mail’s brazen vulnerability is the knowledge that the only way out of such heartbreak is the path straight through.

In deliberately choosing to express her grief, fear, and hope onstage, Lindsey Jordan kept herself open to the possibility that things might just get better – and it just so happens that the universe rewarded her in the peculiar way that it tends to when we act with sincerity. 

 More often than not, love comes when least expected; for Jordan, this cliche couldn’t be closer to the truth.

As the North American leg of The Valentine Tour began, so too did the primordial bubblings of Snail Mail’s latest romance. While Lindsey Jordan booked Hotline TNT and Momma to accompany her on heartbreak tour, the universe had other plans in mind. Stirring up a punk love story for the ages —think Sleater-Kinney’s Brownstein and Tucker—Snail Mail sang of love lost only to spend The 2022 Valentine Tour falling all over again, this time for Momma’s lead singer Etta Friedman. 

Momma and Snail Mail toured together from August 12th to September 9th of 2022, but it wasn’t until December 13th of the same year that Friedman posted a soft launch on her Instagram. Merely a few days later, on the 19th, Snail Mail followed in kind with a post that was equal parts subtle and sweet.

As for how it all came together—well, that’s none of our business. We’re just happy to see both musicians feeling comfortable with open expressions of queerness in the public eye. Having been seen together at Coachella and in very public Instagram posts of adoration, it seems as though Lindsey Jordan and Etta Friedman may never have to write another breakup song again—or perhaps, the sapphics may just be in for the sad girl starter pack song of the century.♦

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