2024’s predicted men’s fitness “trend” is anything but

According to the New York Post—truly the paper of record when it comes to weird gossip—there’s a new fitness trend that’s about to be all over the place in 2024, and it’s neither new nor trendy. Because body parts can’t be trends.

That’s right: the Post is predicting that 2024 will be the year of the big man butt. There’s just one problem—actually, there are several. There’s the idea that the start of a New Year should be all about fitness and dropping those holiday pounds, a fatphobic concept that keeps folks mired in shame and self-hatred rather than helping people get rid of toxic ideas about fitness. Along with this, there’s the concept that every year comes with a new fitness “trend” that’s going to shape the year ahead. But let’s be real: there’s nothing trendy or new about having a big butt. Some people have them, others don’t. To say that butt workouts are at all new or trendy ignores the fact that big butts have been the mood and the moment forever: it’s just that mainstream white culture has suddenly become aware of it.

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We saw this happening in the female influencer sphere years ago. Have we already forgotten the racist implications of that Kim Kardashian Paper magazine cover? The fact that it’s happening all over again in the male influencer sphere is, in a word, disheartening.

“I’ve definitely noticed a rise in the number of men focusing on glute work in the clubs recently,” an Equinox worker told the Post. “On the workout floor, you used to see men focusing mainly on chest, biceps and abs. Now, squat racks and other glute-focused equipment are seeing a lot more use by them.”

He’s not alone in these observations: according to trend forecasters, men are going all in on butt-enhancing workouts this year. They’re also—and this is the part that should be commanding our attention—investing in tighter trousers that emphasize “glute gains” and avoid giving them “diaper butt.” Which is good news for everyone. I know that with an active genocide happening in Gaza, earthquakes in Japan, and a looming Presidential election cycle, we were all losing sleep at night worrying about diaper butt.

Now no sooner did the The Post drop this article than the gays started tearing it apart. Big butts being described as a NEW thing? Get real.

MILLENNIA!

Real ones know: juicy butts are not a trend. Big butts are forever. In the words of Taylor Swift, they never go out of style.