Trans TikToker Lila Rallatos has been one of the most joyful parts of the app for awhile now, and once you’ve seen her videos, it’s no wonder why. The 23-year-old content creator has been sticking it to TERFs and transphobes while prioritizing her own trans joy. From dishing on the delights of sapphic dating to baseball commentary, Rallatos keeps us entertained, informed, and empowered with every new upload.
Related
INTO caught up with Tsai to talk about his favorite film soundtracks, introversion, and why Gen Z is the most resilient generation.
What’s been the most surprising thing about being a vocal trans presence on TikTok?
Definitely the responsibility. When I was a teenager I would just make silly videos with my friends on YouTube with scripts that I’d write in math class. About a year into my transition I started posting on my current account @lilarallatos and I would make raunchy thirst traps and dumb jokes about whatever movie I had just watched. In April of 2023 I went viral for the first time by stitching a transphobic video that posed the question: “how do trans women know that they are women?” My response was “Because my girlfriend’s a lesbian… duh.”
Your internet debrief
Stay ahead of the most scandalous, hilarious, and mind-boggling internet content delivered directly to your inbox.
That resonated with a lot of people and I have truly been riding the wave of that video ever since. I gained my online presence by rejecting transphobia with comedy, and I find that I have a responsibility to keep that up. I love being me. I think I lead a wonderful life. And not to toot my own horn but I’m pretty proud of myself. The most surprising thing about being a vocal trans presence on this app is that I find that I have a responsibility to show that I am happy. That I am proud. That people like me love and are loved so much more than transphobes could ever imagine. That we’re funny and creative and yes sometimes have horrible opinions on the chances of the New York Giants winning the Super Bowl. Being vocal comes with responsibility, and I am truly honored to have earned that from my community.
You’re a source of hope for many in the community during an awful time. What’s your advice for trans folks who are trying to just get through it right now?
Gosh, being called a source for hope is really something. In terms of advice, I’d ask trans folks like me to write. I’ve written and put on a couple plays at my alma mater in the past few months, and if plays are your jam then absolutely go for it. But write what you feel, whether through characters or your own voice, in a notebook or in a script or a novel or on the back of a napkin. Just write. Document. Breathe. Writing allows us to breathe, it slows down the pace of thinking. When we channel our thoughts through a pen our brain is forced to slow down and allow the pen to catch up. Write. Never let anyone forget that we are here.
What’s something that’s making you hopeful right now?
Honestly, a lot of my hope comes from my former professor and friend David Feldshuh. I worked as a Music Coordinator on a play he wrote and directed at Cornell, Orlando’s Gift, and spent hours with him in and out of meetings and rehearsals for the three months we collaborated. Working with a director in his 80s scared the heck out of me. I was terrified of being misgendered, misunderstood, and mistreated. Instead, I was met with a warmth that gives me so, so much hope. We often hear the sentiment that trans people have always and will always be here, and while this is true, it is equally true that those who support and love us will always exist, even if we find them in unexpected places. I love David, not only for supporting me artistically and not judging me based on my gender identity, but also for being my friend and showing me that I should never judge people because of their age and assume that they will not understand me as a trans person just because they have a few decades on me.
What are some things you’re looking forward to in the coming year?
I just got my Master of Engineering degree for Civil and Environmental Engineering from Cornell so I am definitely excited to actually begin the climate-change related work that I dreamt of doing as a teenager. Speaking of dreams, I’m excited to write more plays and hopefully get some sort of writing gig somewhere! One of my major goals in the next year is to submit to as many play-fests and writer’s programs as possible hoping for something to bite, but even if I get no response I am just overjoyed by writing scripts and will be doing so regardless.
The most surprising thing about being a vocal trans presence on this app is that I find that I have a responsibility to show that I am happy. That I am proud. That people like me love and are loved so much more than transphobes could ever imagine.
Lila Rallatos
How did you come up with your iconic slide-into-frame TikTok intro?
A friend on TikTok Rosemary (@rosemarys.diary) actually reached out a year or so ago to tell me that she was a fan of mine, which was obviously quite lovely to hear. She followed this up by telling me (as politely as possible) that the beginnings of my videos were a little awkward because they generally began with me inhaling before I started speaking and suggesting I start my videos at the very moment I began talking. I took this advice and combined it with my strategy for filming audition self-tapes. Since in a self-tape you have to start off with the lowdown of “Hello my name is Lila I’m based in New York blah blah blah” I always tried to jump into frame for every tape just to energize myself before I start acting. It always gets my blood pumping and I think it’s adorable. So I decided to take Rosemary’s advice and combine it with this weird strategy I always had for self-tapes to make this intro! Iconic, though? Who’s to say!
Have you been able to make friends with other TikTokers on the app? Is there someone who you’d love to meet IRL that you only know from the app?
A couple actually! They actually gave me a shoutout on a podcast recently so let me return the favor: my friend Dakota (@western.dakota) is easily one of my favorite sports commentators on TikTok and they are SO fun to collaborate with. I adore openly queer people in sports media and it just so happens that they are also hilarious and a kind person to boot! It’s cool feeling not so alone in sports media, and they definitely help contribute to that. Honestly the weirdest person who follows me is Ricky Montgomery. I have been listening to his music since 2018 (BECAUSE I AM NOT A FAKE FAN I AM A DAY ONE) and one day he just started following me and commenting on my videos and got me comped tickets to see one of his shows. That was definitely mind blowing and made me feel like the most popular kid in town. In terms of meeting people in real life that would certainly be amazing but I’m not holding my breath. All of these people are BUSY out of their minds.
What are some of the pitfalls of giving dating advice?
OH BOY THERE ARE MANY! I love giving dating advice because a) it’s so fun to make comedy out of it, b) transgender romance and dating is so often neglected in media, and c) I have some ridiculous stories to pull from. I will say that talking so candidly about my love life can be difficult. The last thing I want to do is foster any parasocial relationships and although I believe I have succeeded thus far it is a fear that I carry and that I am constantly aware of. More importantly, though, there is a real difficulty in separating my personal life from TikTok, even if I draw from it. I’ve gone through several relationships and breakups in my time on the app and those are absolutely off-limits from discussion. Nobody gets called out because I do not want my personal life to be public at all. I never even really use my partners’ names on the app. But people are always going to have questions and people will catch onto things. I recently went through a breakup and you can see in my comments people begin to question from my videos on dating advice and the language I use whether or not I am single. I would never make a video saying “hey guys whoop-de-doo I’m single now!” because I don’t want to put myself or anyone I’ve been involved with in that kind of public space. So how do I balance honesty with privacy? Someday I’ll figure it out. For now I will continue telling my silly stories, try to make people smile, and forbid parasociality at all costs.
What’s something that makes you proud to be part of Gen Z?
The organization around the liberation of oppressed people throughout the globe. From the freeing of Palestine, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Sudan I have friends involved all around the world fighting to make this world a kinder place and I am honored to have friends my age who are so deeply involved in said fight as well as to be involved in the capacity that I am.
What’s a piece of pop culture from this year (book, movie, song, show, etc) that you already can’t live without?
THE NEW YORK KNICKS, BABY! I’m not quite sure if they count as pop culture but I could not live without my favorite basketball team. Win or lose (but let’s face it they lost) I will always rep the orange and blue. The Knicks are a true story of fighting to the very end even if the end is inevitably bleak, and that is a theme that I carry in my writing and in my life. I could not live without the Knicks. Please Gersson Rosas trade for Giannis.♦
Sign up for the INTO newsletter and get your twice-weekly dose of stories that shape the queer experience, culture, and lifestyle.
INTO’s 25 Under 25 is celebrating 25 queer changemakers ages 25 and under all Pride Month long. Check out a new interview every weekday through July 4 on our 25 Under 25 homepage.
