A posting on Reddit has prompted people to share why their parents thought that they might be gay. Most of them are pretty … well, lame. The posting appeared in the Am I The A**hole subreddit, where people explain scenarios and ask if they were in the wrong in the given situation.
A 20-year-old man said his 14-year-old sister asked him what a Greek God looks like.
“I asked her why she is asking me that and she showed me a passage saying a guy has the features of a Greek god. So I told her ‘You know, muscular and handsome.’
“I noticed my mom giving me a weird look and asked her if something’s wrong. She said ‘Nothing’. Later asked me if I like my best friend (20m) because he’s tall and muscular. I was taken aback. As it turns out, she had always assumed he and I are gay, which is not the case. I quickly told her we’re not gays but she didn’t believe me, saying the way we behave around each other leaves no other possible interpretation.”
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The mom went on to inform her son that she had told some of her friends he was gay but hadn’t come out yet, “and that she was worried about me keeping it bottled up inside.
“I snapped at her for it. I have nothing against gays but I don’t want them to think I’m one when I’m not since it’ll only lead to awkwardness. Not to mention one of them has a daughter I have a crush on and might ask out. She said she only told them because she was worried about me and wanted some advice on what to do.”
“Lame jokes”
Many people said they could empathize with him feeling upset about his mom discussing his sexuality with others, even if “snapping” at her was a potential overreaction.
Others wanted to know more about the way he behaves with his friend. This led him to reveal that his mom “thinks my jokes are so lame he wouldn’t laugh at them if he doesn’t have feelings for me.”
Many thought this was a more “savage diss” than her assumptions about his sexuality.
“I mean this is unintentionally hilarious,” said one person. “OP’s mum thinks he’s so unfunny that his best friend must be gay to have to laugh at his jokes lol.”
Another said, “That’s the kind of third-degree burn that only a family member could deliver.”
Other people share parental thoughts on sexuality
Other people began to share the reason their parents thought they were gay.
“My mum once thought I, a female college student at the time, was a lesbian because I got my belly button pierced,” said one woman.
“My mom thought I was a lesbian because I was a sophomore and didn’t have a boyfriend like my sister had,” said another.
“In high school, my mom thought I was a lesbian because I had pixie short hair. This was the late 90s, so short hair = lesbian,” added a third.
And then there was this doozy: “My mom used to tell people I was gay because I had so many gay men friends. I am female. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!”
“Is that you’re boyfriend?!”
Queer people also entered the chat with their own tales. There were more about parents assuming they were straight. A particular bugbear are moms who assume anyone of the opposite sex you mention by name is your crush.
“I remember when Justin Bieber first became popular. I was 13 at the time (female), and was incredibly unpopular,” said one. She said she wasn’t particularly interested in his music, “but I wanted to be popular (read: not be bullied by literally everyone around me), and I thought if I was interested in popular things, I would magically become popular (spoiler: it doesn’t work like that).
“So I’d be watching Justin Bieber on our family’s one computer in the living room, and my mum would make comments like ‘Is that you’re boyfriend?!’. Then I’d get mad at her, and she’d do that whole ‘oops! Tee hee!’ thing where she’d act like it was all this big joke, and ‘oh, teenagers. They’re so sensitive!’ Like, yeah, they are, and you know that, and yet you’re still doing it.
“I hated it so much. Like, I was already in a bad place mentally, just trying to do anything that would make me popular (and/or stop the bullying), and she just decided to sh*t all over it. Anyway, turns out I’m gay. And I also no longer share details of my personal life with her.”
Related
“I don’t think she’s homophobic, but she doesn’t mind being with a homophobe.”
“You have to find someone to match your level, and you’re only gonna find that in another woman.”
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