These “Freedom-Based” Children’s Books are Hilariously Unhinged

If you needed more proof that people are going insane, look no further than the “Cubs to Bears” children’s book series.

Written by Brett Pike, the founder of the “Classical Learner Homeschool Company,” and suggested to me by Elon Musk’s Twitter, the “Cubs to Bears” books were created to teach kids about the important things, like the Second Amendment and social media censorship. It’s like if the Berenstain Bears, if they suddenly became antivaxxers and decided to invest all their money in gold and firearms. So yeah, just your average, wholesome, educational children’s book.

Pike’s line of “Freedom-based” kid’s books includes a title called “Free Speech, Social Media Censorship, and the First Amendment,” in which a bear simply known as Stand-Up Bear “is banned from a multitude of platforms. He is accused of “hate speech,” being “anti-bird,” and “against saving puppies,” after he attempted to point out what was really happening at the Saving Puppy Center.”

The Saving Puppy Center does sound like a pretty sinister place, but it’s nothing compared to the goings-on at Jekyll Island, the terrifying locale of Pike’s “The Bear From Jekyll Island,” a book that “introduces children to the history of The Fed, fiat currency, fractional reserve banking, loans, interest, and debt.”

I know what you’re thinking: “but what about if I want my kids to learn about marketing and sales?” Don’t worry, because “The Bear From Jekyll Island” fully has that covered. And if you were concerned that Pike’s Cubs to Bears series might not feature an illustration of a lady bear with huge gazongas, once again, I must reassure you: Pike is on top of it. This guy thought of everything!

Phew! We can rest easy knowing that these books exist to teach our children true American values: guns, knockers, and the right to say ignorant bullsh*t on social media. Parenting has never been so easy! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to jump off a bridge!

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