You probably saw a certain ranking of Katy Perry’s songs floating around the internet. Let me be the first (or second or third!) to tell you it’s extremely wrong, and that the correct ranking follows.
64. Into Me You See
Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of Witness. Your reward, somehow, is this song.
63. Mannequin
62. Spiritual
61. I’m Still Breathing
60. Miss You More
59. Dressin Up
58. Choose Your Battles
57. Every Day Is a Holiday
Oy to the world.
56. Rise
55. A Cup of Coffee
54. Who Am I Livin’ For?
53. Witness
52. Double Rainbow
The second half of Prism slumped as a slew of ballads brought down what was a pretty good first half. “Double Rainbow” is one of its biggest offenders.
51. Deja Vu
50. It Takes Two
49. Mind Maze
48. By the Grace of God
47. Dance With the Devil
46. Self Inflicted
45. Power
44. Fingerprints
43. This Moment
42. Ghost
41. Lost
40. Bigger Than Me
39. One of the Boys
38. Love Me
37. Save as Draft
36. Hey Hey Hey
35. Act My Age
34. Waking Up in Vegas
This is the worst kind of bop.
33. Circle the Drain
32. Pendulum
31. Ur So Gay
30. Legendary Lovers
This is an almost-bop marred by the fact that it’s overly kitschy and filled with faux Eastern mysticism lyrics. There’s literally a moment where Perry just whispers “Chakra” with too much enunciation over the music.
29. I Think I’m Ready
28. Thinking of You
Perry’s PR team always tries to push a ballad with each album era, and this one, like the others, is a mostly-flop.
27. This Is How We Do
This would rank higher if there had never been a totally racist video attached.
26. Pearl
25. Roulette
24. Unconditionally
23. International Smile
Convinced this is about Hillary Clinton.
22. E.T. featuring Kanye West
21. Tsunami
20. If You Can Afford Me
19. Hot N Cold
18. Dark Horse feat. Juicy J
Does anyone know what “Dark Horse” is even about? Do any of the lyrics make sense?
17. Peacock
16. Not Like the Movies
15. Chained to the Rhythm
14. Bon Appetit
Sure, Migos mars this track’s brilliance with their lackluster verses, but underneath the dust, there’s a diamond of a bop.
13. I Kissed a Girl
12. The One That Got Away
11. Wide Awake
10. Swish Swish ft. Nicki Minaj
Despite a terrible video, the song is still a certified bop.
9. Part of Me
Perry’s vocals sound so authentically hurt, it’s hard not to pick up exactly what she’s putting down.
8. California Gurls
When Perry sounds like she’s having fun, it’s hard not to nod along.
7. Roar
On “Roar,” Perry succeeds at the stadium-sized pop banger she so often fails to muster.
6. Last Friday Night
Not since Rebecca Black’s “Friday” has a song so captured what it’s like to end the week. BONUS: Missy Elliott is on the remix.
5. Hummingbird Heartbeat
Justice for this song, one Perry’s boppiest of bops.
4. Walking on Air
3. Birthday
Why wasn’t Prism a disco album? If more songs had been like “Birthday,” perhaps it would’ve been on rotation longer on everyone’s iTunes. Also, I won’t post the video because it’s terrible.
2. Firework
There’s a reason that this is Katy Perry’s encore concert song two eras later.
1. Teenage Dream
This a perfect pop song.
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