Pride season is upon us, which means one thing: we’re about to get hit with a wave of obnoxious intracommunity discourse. So, you know, not that different from the other 11 months in the year.
But today’s point of controversy is an interesting example of how anti-gay sentiment can come from the least likely places—including our own community.
Last week, one lesbian couple on TikTok made a video that ruffled many feathers. “We’re gay,” one of the women explains, “but we’re not gay gay.” The women go on to explain that they don’t like having pride flags around, they hang out with mostly straight people, and in general don’t identify as culturally queer. Which is fine, and that’s their prerogative, but you can imagine that many folks didn’t appreciate it.
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“Why is it okay to hang up an Ole Miss flag and not a rainbow flag,” asked one TikToker, noting the couple’s ability to fly the Mississippi state flag—one with a deeply racist history linked to the confederacy. She goes on to explain that disrespecting the Pride flag might seem like an aesthetic choice, but it shows a complete disregard for the queer folks who fought to give that couple the right to marry that they now enjoy.
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Another user pointed out that the rainbow flag has many uses beyond just announcing to the world that you’re queer. In a video promoting Oslo Pride some years ago, we see several scenarios in which queer people in potentially stressful situations feel at ease being themselves when they encounter rainbow flags, pins, and bracelets being worn by others.
During Pride month, the onslaught of rainbow merch and imagery can feel kitschy and annoying. But it also plays a still important role in this community. In a world that’s dialing back our rights and trying to make us feel as unsafe and alone as possible, Gilbert Baker’s rainbow design reminds us that there are allies everywhere who are committed to seeing us as whole, valuable people. It’s more than just a rainbow: it’s a sign of safety and belonging.
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