The gays are asking: Does this hygiene habit mean your partner is cheating?

Normally, how much a guy does or doesn’t shave is their own personal choice. But when it comes with strings attached, is it a sign of infidelity?

That’s what a Reddit user was wondering when he posted about his boyfriend’s suspicious hygiene habits.

“On separate occasions my bf has shaved his groin and/or chest when he’s on a trip,” the poster wrote. “When he’s at home he doesn’t maintain his body hair regularly, usually just grows out. He doesn’t have a very hairy chest either but noticeable when it’s clean shaven. To me, this seems purposeful — I just don’t [know] what the purpose is? Will ask when he gets back but curious what others think.”

The poster got mixed responses: Lots of folks provided other reasons he might only shave when traveling, including comfort and self-esteem when away from his partner.

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“I certainly can’t answer your question, however I do trim when I travel (for work, to see family, etc) because traveling can be sweaty, and hair holds sweat/smells,” wrote one commenter. “I’m not particularly hairy, but I feel generally cleaner while traveling after a body trim.”

“Is it a trip where he’ll have his shirt off in front of people, at pools or on a beach? Maybe he’s self conscious about his body hair,” suggested another. “He shouldn’t be, body hair is great, but lots of guys are and I understand that. If that’s the case, he’s probably comfortable with it around you because he doesn’t feel judged by you.”

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But on the other hand, some folks admitted that when they’d been unfaithful to previous partners, they’d done the same thing.

“I shamefully have to admit I did this when I was cheating. So I think you know the answer,” wrote one commenter.

“This was how my friend found out his partner was cheating as well. Came back from a trip with a cleanly shaved upper body,” replied another.

Others pointed out that the obvious solution is to open a dialogue with the partner and outright ask why he’s shaving.

“You should start shaving everything when he starts preparing to go. See if he says anything,” recommended one commenter. “Seriously though, you should tell him how you feel and the concerns you have.”

Other commenters said that the suspicion itself was a reason to reconsider the relationship.

“It really doesn’t matter what he’s doing,” one user wrote. The fact that you don’t trust him to the point that you’re questioning it and wanting reassurance from people who don’t know either of you is proof enough to me that you’re not in the relationship you deserve or that will enrich your life.”

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So, was the boyfriend actually cheating on the original poster? He never updated the post to confirm one way or the other, but he did provide more info. 

When one commenter asked if the poster had any other reasons to be suspicious, he replied, “No he’s just had a history of infidelity in the past.” And as far as if he’s traveling somewhere with warm weather and would ever be shirtless around other people, the boyfriend was headed to New York City in early spring. In other words, it would be far too cold for any beach excursions, making the boyfriend’s hygiene habits even more suspicious.

Long story short, strange shaving habits by themself aren’t necessarily proof of cheating — but if you have any suspicions, being open and honest with your partner is always the best policy.