Raise Your Voice

The gays are asking: Is ‘gay voice’ a turn-off?

Like it or not, the “gay accent” exists: higher pitched, somewhat nasal, overly enunciated. Not all gay men talk this way, but plenty do, and it’s not something anyone can control. That said, is this common trait among the gays actually attractive to other gay folks, or is it a turn-off?

That was the question posed in a Reddit post titled “Does ‘gay voice’ turn you off?” 

Some folks said outright that, yes, someone having a gay voice is a turn-off — but the more common response was that it’s not the voice alone that’s unattractive, but the voice in combination with “stereotypical” gay guy behavior, suggesting that some folks emphasize their gay accent on purpose.

“There’s a difference between having a gay voice and those who go out of their way to sound like that and be extra about it. The first one is ok and acceptable,” one commenter wrote. “The latter is obnoxious and folks I don’t like being around. They’re fake and extra for no good reason at all. They’re the ones who care about Kardashians, Drag Race and other superficial stereotypical gay things. No thanks.”

It’s not the voice alone, but if they are the type of person who is loud and obnoxious, like a cartoonish version of a gay man, that’s a turn-off, as I’m just a more laid back, quiet person,” agreed another.

“I want to say yes (and I have typically said yes in the past) but it’s not just the voice,” said a third. “It’s the voice followed by over-the-top dramatics (expressions/movements) that are a turn off for me. I just can’t stomach it.”

But others couldn’t help noticing that those statements might be internalized homophobia. If being a “stereotypical” gay man, liking media like RuPaul’s Drag Race, and making dramatic faces are all too much to stomach, there’s likely some deeper issues at play.

“The internalized homophobia in this comment section is so disheartening. Homophobia, at its core, is not a fear or rejection of queer men and women. It’s a manifestation of the hatred of femininity — aka misogyny,” one commenter explained. “The discourse around how someone sounds or chooses to speak and quantifying this through the lens of attraction is more evidence that we have been conditioned to see femininity as inferior or less desirable.”

Another anecdote pointed out that the people who seem to care most about gay voice are other gay people.

“I’m bi and what’s crazy is that straight people don’t think I sound feminine or gay, and yet gay men ALWAYS have a comment about it,” one user wrote. “Moral of that story? Gay men hate gay voice more than anyone else. If a guy has the slightest bit of femininity the gays start up.”

Meanwhile, there were also folks who said up-front that the gay voice is sexy to them — particularly if they’re tops.

“I am a dom top and I get super turned on by a fem gay voice,” one commenter wrote. “There’s something white hot about a guy who has the confidence to roll with it, get dolled up and be my queen. I can provide more than enough masculinity for our time together.”

“As a top — it turns me on,” shared another. “I swear to God, there’s something primal in me that flips my bon*r on.”

Ultimately, as one commenter put it, there’s nothing wrong with sounding gay when you’re looking to attract gay people.

“I am attracted to gay people, not straight people,” they wrote. “So no, it doesn’t turn me off.” Amen!

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