Every Question We Have About that Viral Blowjob Engagement Photo

Something old, something new, something borrowed, someone got blew.

BuzzFeed reported that a photo of a bride simulating oral sex with her husband has gone viral because being extra is the internet’s most important currency. Without further ado, here’s the photo itself.

Some bridesmaids can not wait intil the party is over to go to the suite for a relaxing break and have a crunching wedding night. Fortunately, they had already given the yes word and were officially married. To all bridesmaids who will marry next year. I have already had to sell no because of already occupied dates. Do not wait too long to search for a photographer. Always sorry to say no. #marrage #wedding #bride #groom #love #weddingphoto #trouwen #trouwfotograaf #trouwfoto #weddingdays #reallove #daredevils #theedge #fun

A post shared by Michel van der Klooster (@michel_klooster) on Oct 3, 2017 at 2:53am PDT

What follows is a list of questions about the photo. Just FYI, one of the questions will NOT be, “Who wanted this?” because, according to BuzzFeed, the bride’s mother suggested the pose. On an unrelated note, the bride’s mother is my new BFF.

1. Is this straight culture?
2. Is this supposed to be funny? Sexy? Scandalous?
3. Why is giving a blowjob in the park cool and funny for a white, straight bride but when queer people of color do it, they are targeted by the police and profiled by the New York Times?
4. Who gets a blowjob whilst still wearing undergarments?
5. IS THAT MINION UNDERWEAR!?
6. Why marry someone who wears Minion underwear?
7. Who makes Minion underwear? Can I contact them and ask them to stop?
8. Why are both of her hands on his thighs? Shouldn’t at least one of them be on his junk?

But, all of my feelings can best be summed up by America’s Next Top Model’s very own runway diva coach extraordinaire Miss Jay Alexander:

via GIPHY