The queer community is a place of expression, freedom, and love, and we’re usually elated by good-faith media that is explicitly, unapologetically queer. It’s not uncommon for fans to praise an entertainer’s performance in a piece of queer art, but sometimes we tend to take it too far, We saw this with the push years ago to force Kit Connor out of the closet, and we’re still doing it today.
The problem isn’t whether an entertainer is or isn’t queer—the problem is publicly speculating until they’re forced to answer. In many cases, it forces them out before they’re ready. We recently saw this with the case of Shawn Mendes, whose recent clarifications were immediately met with cries of, “I knew he was gay all along!” Despite Mendes never explicitly stating his sexual orientation, he’s faced the constant chattering of people who’d like to decide his sexuality for him.
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Shawn Mendes is not the only artist to fall victim to this, as Billie Eilish recently faced a similar experience, where she alleged that Varitey outed her. However, much later, during an interview with Rolling Stone, she admitted that she overreacted and stated, “The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn’t get to say anything or control any of it. Nobody should be pressured into being one thing or the other, and I think that there’s a lot of wanting labels all over the place. Dude, I’ve known people that don’t know their sexuality, or feel comfortable with it, until they’re in their forties, fifties, sixties. It takes a while to find yourself, and I think it’s really unfair, the way that the internet bullies you into talking about who you are and what you are.”
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Cardi B has also spoken about feeling pressured to address her sexuality after people speculated she and Normani were “queerbaiting” in their hit 2021 collaboration, Wild Side. Cardi took the conversation to Twitter, stating:
The parasocial entitlement to a celebrity’s sexual orientation is appalling and inhumane. Everyone deserves the right to privacy and to explore their identities without the pressure to prove themselves. While we might feel excited at the prospect of an artist we love coming out, we have to remember that it’s not about us, and these artists don’t owe us anything.
Instead of obsessing over who’s out and who’s not, we should redirect and focus on the representation that we have: there are so many underappreciated, talented queer entertainers who deserve it.
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